As many of you know, I was recently on the road preaching in Texas and Tennessee. I was fantastic, it was a huge success. Had we had any water nearby, I'm sure my one-of-a-kind preaching technique would have resulted in a number of baptisms. As it was, we had to settle for Tex-Mex and Blue Grass Music instead.
By the way, I LOVE preaching in the states that start with the letter "t". Texas, Tennessee...Tahiti. Anyhow...
I got home just last night and have spent today trying to get settled like we all do; answering email, paying bills, reassembling my pull-along-pul-pit. Because of this, I (obviously) have been a bit late getting out today's missive. Which as far as I knew, was no big deal. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was in the middle of this "settling" that I received this disturbing text:
By the way, I LOVE preaching in the states that start with the letter "t". Texas, Tennessee...Tahiti. Anyhow...
I got home just last night and have spent today trying to get settled like we all do; answering email, paying bills, reassembling my pull-along-pul-pit. Because of this, I (obviously) have been a bit late getting out today's missive. Which as far as I knew, was no big deal. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was in the middle of this "settling" that I received this disturbing text:
"As self imposed spokesman for three followers
I am here to inform you
we are fasting until you post.
(We did just eat lunch;hypoglycemic issues)"
Imagine my feigned surprise. I had no idea that my seemingly silent and "not very comment-y" followers were actually "rabid" followers intent on holding their very own meals hostage til I come up with the "goods" ala: another award-winning blog posting.
How disturbing. How weird. How exciting. I think I saw a movie like this one time. Or maybe I just wish I had. Actually, I wish I was IN a movie right now and this was happening. I'm not sure which. I often have trouble separating my fantasy world from the real thing, but that's another posting for a another hunger strike.
The point is, the heat is on. Thank goodness I'm here to intervene. Many of you don't realize this but, this kind of pressure could not be beared by most preachers.
Joel Olsteen would crumble like a Texas tumble weed.
Richard Roberts would probably start singing.
I don't think Billy Grahm has a blog.
TD Jakes...well TD Jakes would just start yelling at you. I LOVE TD Jakes.
Me, I'm different. I'm...well, I'm me. I was BORN for this kind of fasting emergency.
You see at this very moment, 3 fragile, stubborn, starving souls, who from what we can tell, have not eaten a speck of food for almost... 2 1/2 hours now; are depending on ME to help break their fast by posting to my blog.
You say, "What are you gonna do, Preacher?"
It's a fantastic question. Fantastic because it has an easy answer. And by "easy" I mean it has an answer that I know. And that answer is: I am going to do what ANY preacher of such skill and superior talents as mine, who found himself in a similar position WOULD do.
I will do what Jesus would do.
Well, I can't do EVERYHTHING Jesus would do, because Jesus could do a LOT of stuff only HE could do!
Drives me crazy when people say they're gonna do what Jesus would do. I always think, "Oh really? You gonna walk on water? Feed 5,000? Turn some water into wine at a wedding? Well, THAT's what JESUS would do!"
So I'm gonna do what Jesus would do...IF HE WERE ME RIGHT NOW AND HAD A BLOG AND A COMPUTER AND PEOPLE THREATENING TO STARVE THEMSELVES TO DEATH TILL HE POSTED A POSTING.
So...here goes.
(PAUSE to post)
Now, go eat a sandwich.
As together we stand and sing.
BP
