GREAT BLERMON BEGINNINGS

Once again Sunday is upon us.

As I have done so often in the past, today I make of myself an instrument of humble service to my fellow Preachers out there, who are frantically  scouring their old college Bible class notes for sermon ideas for tomorrow's lesson.  Rest easy.  Once again, you've come to the right place.  I'm among the top 3 Preachers I know (actually, the top two - but you didn't hear that from me).


So today I want to provide you Preachers out their with my "Top Ten Best Sermon Starters".  They are pulpit tested, and Preacher approved, and guaranteed to get you started preaching even if you don't have a sermon.  These things are like sermon bullion.  Just start saying these words as soon as you mount the pulpit, and SOMEthing should catch fire - or you'll GET fired, either way.  

Of course, if you happen to want to use these Sermon Starters online then they would be Blermon Starters...but most of you already knew that.  Anyhow...here they are:

10.) What a joy it is to...

9.) My wife Gidget...

8.) Turn in your Bibles if you would to...

7.) Now THAT's what I call a pot luck announcement!

6.) How many here love grape juice?  You're in luck...

5.) Ever seen a Winne The Pooh tattoo?

4.) Today I wanna preach on the "99 Reasons to..."

3.) Where am I?  Any ideas? 

2.) Who are YOU people? 

1.) Blah, blah, blah, blah, husker du, on 10, hike!



As together we stand and sing.

BP

DIY SDP

(insert picture or drawing)

The other day I _______.

In Matthew chapter ___ it says:______.

Which reminds me of the time I _____.

Todays Preachers stink because _____.

I'm better than Joel Olsteen because he ____ and  I ______.

Grumpy Elders are _______.

Which is like a _______ in a ______ with a ______.

Which always ______s my wife Gidget 

(insert hilarious joke)

(insert dog poem)

(make Big Point coupled with a point that has nothing to do with the Big Point)

(insert humorous - not hilarious - joke) 

As together we stand and sing.

BP

THE BLERMON CHALLENGE (#1)

Recently someone sent me this picture...

...and submitted the challenge that I wouldn't be able to BleachTM (blog-preach) a BlermonTM (blog-sermon) about it.  

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I'm afraid they were right.  I CAN'T Bleach a BlermonTM about it.  I can BleachTM THREE.  I've already finished the titles for them:

1.) The Parable of the Mouthy Elder Fish.

2.) When Bad Things Happen To Ugly Fish.

3.) What Would Jesus Do With THESE?

I could also make a couple of pretty cool Bible Greeting Cards out of it too.

"Missed you at the last Pot Luck Dinner..."

"Day Old Fish, Day Older You.  Happy Birthday!" 

(insert Bible fish verse)

"Congratulations on getting baptized!  Some friends who were there wanted to say hi". 

I could also do a short video/documentary called: 

 

Fishers of MEN

 Smell Better.

I wish somebody could tell me how do I do it?    I'm amazing.  I'm a BlermonTM force of nature.  A BleachingTM Wonder.

Let's eat.  Red Lobster tonight, Gidget?

As together we stand and sing.

BP 

PS: New Movie idea:

"HE AIN'T AN UGLY, DEAD FISH...

HE'S MY BROTHER."