EVERYBODY PIPE DOWN

Proverbs 17:18 says this:

"Even a fool is counted wise

When he holds his peace;

When he shuts his lips,

He is considered perceptive."

 

There is so much I could say about this verse, but WON'T say - for obvious reasons.

That being (not) said...

Are you LISTENING Fox News?

Do you GET it, all you yappy, know-it-all Preachers?

Are you HEARING this, Brian? (you know who you are, Brian.  Pipe down!)

Oops!  Now look what just happened!  Already, I've said too much. Shoot.  This is hard not to do.

But don't quote me on that.  

Just sit there for once and say nothing. 

Thanks.  I await your comments.

I mean...no, I DON'T await your comments!

I mean...YES, I DO!  I LIVE for your comments!  What am I saying?

Oh, never mind.  Do what you want.

Shoot!  Will I EVER SHUT UP?!

NO!

YES!

SHUT UP!

OK!  Stop yelling at me!

Sigh...

As together we stand and sing.

BP

Clowns For Christ

The Apostle Paul once wrote, "For God has chosen the foolish of this world to confound the other Preachers..."

Somethin' like that.  That's how I remember it anyhow, especially when I'm takin' guff from other preachers.  Let's face it, there is NO one more foolish than me.  Drives 'em all nuts. I personally love it.  This is one verse I KNOW was made especially for me.  Anyhow...

It might have been to confound "the world," now that I think if it.  Or maybe the wise?  The uncounfound-a-bil-able?  The concubines?  I can't remember.  Oh, who cares?  I don't remember the exact quote, so shoot me, I'm not a concordance.  I'm traveling at the moment so my Bible as well as my Right Guard, and portable baptistry are all probably on their way to Omaha right now via Jacksonville.  Anyhow, the point is this...

What better time to confound those in your life than today?  April 1st is the day man has set aside for foolishness, that God uses to confound Old Sticks In The Mud (see Pharisees and Goliath).  They are unaware that they have walked right into His master plan once again!  Who's the foolish one now?

So beware to you, you Stiff-necked and Boring!  Woe to you, who don't get the joke!  Woe to the Snickerless, and the Overly-serious, and to the ones who shout,  "I don't get The Three Stooges, I prefer documentaries instead." 

How ridiculous.  Everybody knows documentaries can't hold a candle to Curly Joe.

Woe to you haters of Knock Knock Jokes, and riddles and puns!  Woe to you Shushers and Finger Snappers, Dry Joke Guys and all READERS OF HARD BOOKS WITHOUT PICTURES!   For behold, there is one coming that is even mightier than the Knock Knock Joke.  And his name is WHOOPI CUSHION. 

This is the day of the Whoopi Cushion, I will rejoice and be glad in it!

"Knock, knock! 
Who's there! 
Wait a minute,
What was that terrible noise?
Sounded just like a fa...?"

So arise, Blurch, arise!  This is YOUR day!  Put on the Clown Nose of Righteousness, and shod your feet with those Big Clown Shoes of Truth.  Then go to work and see what happens.  

I'm self-employed otherwise I'd do it with you.  But I'm pretty sure you won't get fired.  Anyhow...

Go confound a wise person today!  If they give you trouble, just smile, spray 'em with seltzer and know that you're pretty sure it's in the Bible.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL burp.

BP

EDITORS NOTE: IT is possible that NONE of this is actually in the Bible.  My Bible is still lost as well as my Strong's Concordance, so I'm really kinda wingin' this one kids. BTW,  I hope they have breakfast in this hotel, I'm starving.  BP cannot not be held responsible if you lose your job or wife...you're the one who went to work in a clown suit.  I'm mean, come on, be serious!  In a FOOLISH way, of course.  Oh never mind!