SERMPROVISE IT!

I was recently asked by one of my...what’s the phrase I’m looking for...adoring, foot washing, koo koo for me fans...I guess that’s close enough.  You get it.  Anyhow...

I was recently asked, “Brother Preacher, is it true that you are actually a self-taught preacher?”

The answer is “no”.  Though it DOES come across that way sometimes.  But thank-you for the compliment. 

I am actually a highly trained Minister of the Word, having studied for 9 years at the Sunshine School of Preaching, Colorado Springs.

That’s sounds more impressive that it is considering the fact that it was only a 6-month course.  Still, I enjoyed my time there - probably more than I should have.

In the meantime I have become what is called an “Improviser of Sermons” or if you will a “Sermproviser.” I just make ‘em up as I go!   

This is why my sermons tend to have that fresh, "what the heck is he talkin’ about", “look what I found” feel about them.  The reason they feel that way is because that is exactly what they are!  Amazing how that works.

I love making up sermons.  Unlike a lot of Preachers, sometimes, I actually LEARN something from MY sermons.  That's because as I’m listening to my sermon, it is as new to ME as it is to anybody else.  It's like a "Sermon Surprise" every time I open my mouth!

It’s a weird experience, really.  I had a doctor friend who used to do surgeries the same way.  HE was a RIOT to hang around with, lemme tell ya!  These days,  he's down in Arizona, enjoying his time as a full-time landscaper.  Anyhow...

I think the most important part of  making up or “Sermprovising” any sermon, is to not panic.  Just trust that your years of study will surface at just the right time and give you what needs to be said.   

When that DOESN’T happen know that you can always depend on having a good song leader who gets bored easily and who will happily cut you off after about 25 minutes.  Or 5 minutes, depending on how big the train wreck is.

As long as you have those two things - and an ample supply of stories about your kids - you TOO can “Sermprovise” with confidence knowing that...

Oops...here comes my radio song leader - out of time!  Gotta go.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

THE CRAFTY PREACHER

Emergency Preacher Crafts

Let's face it.  Preachers just don't do crafts like they used to.

Jesus was a woodworker.  
Paul made tents.  Peter mended nets.
Joseph's dad liked to tie-dye coats of many colors.

Nowadays, Preachers golf.  Or worse yet, bowl.  I know one Preacher in Omaha who is on a paintball team.  He isn't that good.  I know he isn't any good because whenever he  preaches he has a slight orange glow around his forehead and cheeks.  He's pretty bruised up too.  He may wanna try something else.  Like maybe a nice, safe Turner Classic Movies Marathon.

It's good for Preachers who spend most of their time reading and worrying and baptizing, to do something with their hands on occasion.  Helps keep the calluses up.  There's nothing worse than shakin' hands with a Preacher after church and getting the feeling that he just came from getting a manicure.  

For me, the craft of champions is probably Leathercraft.  

I like it because there's leather involved - which makes it easy to pretend like I'm Jesse James making a saddle in the Old West for a big, upcoming train robbery.  Or maybe a cave man makin' a hat.  Or a guy in prison makin' a billfold.  

Also, with Leathercraft, I can usually bang my thumb at least twice, which is always a good manly look,  as well as find a way to cut myself several times.  In short, it can tear up my hands pretty quickly, which with my tight preaching schedule is a must.

Also very few people (let alone Preachers) even DO Leathercraft anymore.  I love to see the look of surprise (some would misinterpret it as disgust) when I give someone a belt I made with their name and some ladybugs pounded into it.  I make 'em put it on right away and model it. That just doesn't happen anymore.

Most importantly Leathercraft provides me with some down time as well as an opportunity for sermon illustrations.  Some of the sermon illustrations and ideas I have had just this week as a result of working in leather include:

Christians: Tough as Leather, Cute as Butterflies.

Put On The Belt Of Righteousness And Blue Birds.

It's Hard To Sin When you're Name And Phone Number Is On Your Belt.

So come on, Preachers.  Get your hands a little dirty.  Tear up a table top.  Singe the ends of your fingers.  The whole golf thing is SO...Pre-Power Point. 

Dare To Be A Crafter!

As together we stand and sing.

BP