Friday, May 27, 2011


Let's be honest - Semi Daily BleachingTM (blog-preaching) is NOT for wimps.  

It takes stamina, resolve, a computer, probably some sort of Internet connection, a free blog account doesn't hurt, and most importantly...ideas. 

The ideas part IS the tough part.  That and the Internet connection.  Which is why you've gotta grab both wherever and whenever you can!

This is one reason why I have BleachedTM on everything from Boxes to Bugs to "Bibles I Have Loved" (an exciting upcoming series).  When you Bleach as many BlermonsTM as I do, you can't get picky. And I DON'T.  Anyhow...

I was recently at an old friend's house for supper (actually it was just last night, you know who you are).  Let's call this old friend, "Goliath".

Goliath and his family are wonderful cooks, and fabulous people.  They treated my wife Gidget and me to delicious Italian food, an evening wonderful conversation and then right before I left, a nice, big, fat  helping of blog whinin' from Goliath.  

I shoulda known 'ole Goliath was up to something.  He's always been sneaky.  And TALL.  You gotta watch giants.  

It was right after the Cream bu Somethin' was served that Goliath casually mentioned that he didn't think that my "Army Guys Bible Story Theater Series" counted as really "writing" a BlermonTM.  

In short: he thought I was cheating.

Needless to say, I was concerned that this could keep me from getting another dose of the Creme Bru Whatever-it-was.  I ALSO knew instantly that it is this kind of controversy that could literally ROCK this BlogregationTM.  

So, after finishing my tasty desert, having some coffee, and packing up the leftovers, I came straight home, took a shower,  went to bed, then woke up this morning and hit this thing head on!

Those of you who are already members of this BlongregationTM (blog-congregation) know all about "The Army Guys".  Here's an example of a great one: Moses and the soon-to-be-parted Red Sea.  

Very dramatic.

This series makes use of Army Guys and whatever I've got hangin' around the house to form a wonderful, modern day expression of classic Bible Stories.  Kids love 'em.  As do people who hate to read. 

I can see The Lord doing the same thing if HE was Preaching now, and had an IPhone...and Army Guys.  They are truly a breakthru in modern Bleaching.

But to Goliath's point:  Am I pulling a fast one?  Do I use "The Army Guys" as a way to get out of actually writin' a BlermonTM? Do I keep 100's of them on hand in case I get too busy and need to stick 'em in at the last moment?  

Am I, as Goliath would say,  "cheating"?

Answer: Yes.  Yes, I am.  

Any other questions?  

Any more La-zag-na?

As together we stand and sing.



  1. Dear Navy Seal BP,
    I see through the thin veil of this coverup! Last time there was a series of "army guys" blogs, you and the other Seals took out Osama (nice job on that eyeball shot). I know that when the army guys appear as a blog, you are on assignment, saving the world from dastardly criminals. I assume that Gidget is also a trained seal, and that all this rhetoric about "moving" and "end times countdown" are forms of code coordinating seals around the world to converge on evil like the "Apocaplyse"! Tell your Goliath buddy to read between the lines and simply say "thank you" for your special "mission" trips.

  2. I sense a David vs. Goliath "army guys" blermon on the horizon...
    Anyway, maybe it wouldn't seem so much like cheating if there were a little more "La-zag-na" (I assume you were using that as a bletaphor for "substantive bleaching") associated with the "army guys" blermons. For instance, "First to Arrive At the Stoning" seemed a little 'thin', so to speak.

  3. (Nice laptop...)

    Yes, a free blog account is nice, if you can get it. The blog site I use has both paid and free accounts available, in case you're looking for another virtual pulpit to further spread your bleachings...

    Totally agreeing with you on the ideas and internet connection being the most challenging parts!

    And as for Goliath... Well, for what it's worth, I've loved the "Army Guys" series--the Parting of the Sea one is a classic!

    (And... Goliath keeps reminds me of the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider. Maybe if you ever plan a David vs. Goliath bleach, it could be "Army Guy vs Giant Spider"?)

  4. I suggest hanging out with people shorter than 9 ft tall.