Friday, August 26, 2011


I fell asleep during my bedtime prayers again last night.

I’m not proud of that fact.  I’m not saying I’m a wonderful example of devotional commitment that everybody should aspire to.  I’m just tellin’ what happened.

I don’t know why this happens.  I guess it could be because I say my bedtime prayers IN my bed instead of BESIDE my bed, on my knees, the way I used to do it when I was a kid.   You don’t fall asleep when you pray on your knees. 

But look, I CAN’T pray on my knees anymore.  I can’t even garden on my knees anymore.  Frankly, I don’t know how you Catholics do it every week.  I’d need more than that little bench with a cushion, I can tell you that.

For a while I tried praying in a chair but it felt too much like I was interviewing for a job.  I tried standing and praying but I always ended up preaching instead of praying.  Bathtub praying is just weird, and unlike SOME people I know, I have NEVER prayed while on the toilet.  For record, I don’t do any reading there either.  There places for reading.  They are called “libraries”.   "Let him who hath ears..."

So sometime ago, I started praying my bedtime prayers in bed.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I have to admit it, it has rarely worked.

I usually start off good, with a fair amount of praising and thanking.  But then I slide into the slurring, and the mind drifting and the incoherant babbling.  Occasionally I’ll start talkin’ in cartoon voices, lose my place, wake up and have to start over. 

What bothers me most is that I’m not sure if any of these prayers “take”.  I’m not sure if I ever get to the “In Jesus name I pray” part.  Does anybody know whether or not you HAVE to get to that part for it to count?  Scripture is, at best, sketchy on this topic.

There is nothing worse than struggling through a sleepy bedtime prayer in bed, fighting off the Slumber Monster only to realize in the morning that you fell asleep sometime between “Please bless my family” and “Which Hogan’s Heroes is YOUR favorite episode, Lord?”

Oh, don’t sit there like you’ve never done THAT before. 

As together we stand and sing.