A friend of mine bought me lunch the other day. Which really kinda threw me for a loop.
It’s not that people don’t buy me lunch every once in a while. On the contrary, people LOVE buying Preacher’s lunch - and getting us hockey tickets...not sure why that is. I think it may be left over from when us Preacher’s used to preach for fried chicken.
Oh man...THOSE were the days. Lemme tell ya - you shoulda heard some of my fried chicken sermons back in the day! They were short, crispy and delicious...my sermons, I mean, not the chicken.
Oh man! I have completely forgotten what it was I was talkin’ about. What was it? Let’s see...lunch, chicken and a....well, it’s gone now. No wait! I got it! Lunch, chicken...and uh...oh MAN what was that 3rd thing?! Oh well, it’s gone now...OOPS! Anyhow...
It wasn’t the fact that my friend bought me lunch the other day that threw me off, what made my head spin was the fact that it was MY FRIEND buying me lunch.
This dude NEVER buys me lunch. Ever. Not only that but he has never even one time in 35 years ever even gotten close to taking out cash, or a credit card or even a handful of seashells and tried to pay for even as much as a fried cheese stick. This guy is CHEAP!
He’s the kind of guy that never QUITE gets his wallet out of his back pocket before someone else has already grabbed the check - which then causes him to say, “OH, really? Are you sure? Let’s split it! No? OK, well thanks man!”
And of course when we ARE going to split the bill, somehow this guy is always in the bathroom.
Pathetic.
But maybe I should feel hopeful. Maybe after all these years, my friend is finally getting what it means to be a responsible, contributing member of society. That once in a while it;s OK to pay for lunch with a friend. Maybe this really is a sign of good things to come.
Or maybe he knows I’ve got some deadly disease and should be dead in another 6 months and wants to get on my good side in time for the treading of the will.
I know I shouldn’t but somehow...I’m goin’ with the will reading theory
Pathetic.
As together we stand and sing.
BP
