Preachers are stealing my sermons.
To say nothing of my Blermons (blog-sermons).
Not long ago, after completing another award winning, weeklong Tent Revival (yes, they still have them - don’t look so surprised), a friend turned to me and said, “Brother Preacher, do you write you own sermons?”
This question struck me as odd.
“Of course I do, “I said, “Every amazing word.”
I had no idea I had a choice. Had I known there was a sermon writing computer program out there that allows you to type in a topic, press RETURN and then automatically have it throw together a joke, a poem, two scriptures and a dog story and spit it out the other end - sign...me...UP.
But that wasn’t what he was getting at. Apparently there are preachers out there in the Preacherhood who have been stealing my sermons and using them as their own. Outright. Word for word. Tragic. Weird.
I really can’t say that I blame ‘em. I suppose if I didn’t have access to my own brilliant sermons, I might be tempted to swipe of few from time to time from somebody else. Although I have to admit, I don’t know if I’d be able to pull off preaching another guy’s sermon. Sermon titles often tell you more about the guy preaching it than the sermon itself. It can get scary.
Here’s a quick list of just a few REAL sermon titles I found just now:
IT IS NEVER RIGHT TO DO WRONG IN ORDER TO GET A CHANCE TO DO RIGHT.
WHY TRIMMEST THOU THY WAY?
HE SAW ME IN A TREE
WHEN LEFTY STUCK IT TO HEFTY
TELEGRAPH, TELEPHONE, TELL A WOMAN
4 SKELETONS THAT PREACHED THE GOSPEL
THINGS I LEARNED FROM A TREE CLIMBING MIDGET
WHAT MADE THE JAILHOUSE ROCK?
KILL THE COW AND BURN THE PLOW
A NUDE DUDE IN A RUDE MOOD
A FAT SERVANT IS BETTER THAN A SKINNY CORPSE
HONEY, WE NEED TO SHRINK THE CAMEL
THE BUTS OF THE BELIEVER
SLIDING TO HELL ON YOUR BUTS
WAKE UP AND SELL THE COFFIN
THREE REASONS TO COMMIT FORNICATION.
On second thought I might nab a couple of these. “When Lefty Stuck It To Hefty” could be a whole series.
As together we stand and sing.