Monday, October 31, 2011


I realize that many of you will soon be heading out to do a little Trick or Treating. I also realize that others of you will be trying to make the Trick or Treaters feel like they're doing something wrong simply by GOING Trick or Treating.

To those of you in the latter group (many of whom I suspect are Grumpy Elders) I would simply say this: No candy for you.

For the rest of you, I want to give a couple of costume tips for your big night out.  Assuming, of course, that you have decided to go as a Preacher.  By the way - you're gonna cash in tonight - people love givin' stuff to Preachers.  

From: "So You Want To be A Preacher"
TIP #1 - There's nothing magic about going "Classic".  Works every time: dark suit, checkered tie, white shirt, frame less glasses, conditional smile (that gets bigger after a baptism).  The only way to improve THIS costume... 

A real pro
TIP #2 - Add a Bible and wave your arms like a maniac.  Now THAT's A Preacher!  Amen?!

First down!
TIP#3 - If you go for the big stick...

"T" is for "Take this off and put on a suit."
You have to include the "hoodie" with a "t" on it.  That's...kind of a rule.

TIP #4 - NO HAWAIIAN SHIRTS!!!!  How many times do I have to say this?!!  If you wear this, eventually you'll be doing THIS...
Preachers DON'T walk on water
And nobody wants to see THAT.

Shake your God thing
TIP #5 - No silk shirts from 1978.  This is a church, not a disco.  And stand UP for cryin' out loud!!

Bond...PREACHER Bond
TIP #6 - Oh serious.

CAN lower cholesterol
TIP #7 - Hats don't work on Preachers.  Unless you're selling oatmeal. this next picture and just do the opposite of everything you see here...
NO dogs...or whatever that is.

As together we stand and sing.