Thursday, June 16, 2011

BIBLE SCHOLARS: LAST WARNING

Ever wondered what it feels like to be a Preacher on the verge of taking Hollywood and a bunch of whiny Bible Scholars by storm?  Take a look at this picture and you'll know exactly what it feels like.

It feels cold, hard, and a little bit scummy. 

But it has to be done.

These are the tiles in my bathroom of my room in Malibu.  I've been staring at it for 3 hours.  It's called PPF:  

PRE-PREACH FOCUS.  

PPF is mandatory when you are preparing to Preach at  a bunch of mouthy, braggy Bible Scholars in Malibu.  This isn't a job for just ANY preacher.  Olsteen would crumble under the pressure.  I'd like to see HIM stare at a bathroom wall for 2 hours.  Never happen.


I'm gonna tear 'em up.

I find that bathroom tiles have a way of helping me visualize the points of my sermon.  Each tile represents either a specific point, illustration, joke, or dog story. 

There's one tile in here that has what appears to be toothpaste on it.  That's my invitation song.

The plan is to stay in this bathroom and stare at these tiles til "go" time.  That's about...9 hours from now.  

By then, I'll be ready.  I'll be nice and hungry, thirsty, grumpy, mean, probably a little dizzy and if I'm lucky, babbling like a mad man.  I'll be a cross between John The Baptist and a crazed hamster.

Unstoppable.

Of course, if I get TOO hungry, I'll probably have some lunch and take a nap.  

Gotta always have a backup plan.

As together we stand and sing.


BP