I recently took a look at some stats for this site, and found some astonishing numbers regarding who the readers are of this very important blog. Notice...
In India, we have 9 people following this blog. Welcome India! Spice is nice! When we go to move this “Blurch TM.” to Youtube, I will be contacting you for tech support. Glad to have you aboard!
In Germany there are 4 readers. Probably 2 couples, is my guess. Two couples, Fran and Ollie, Linder and Hans, finally reunited after years of separation by that Wall and Hogan’s Heroes.
They probably get together for dinner every night, followed by a rousing game of Husker Du or whatever. Then they all gather ‘round the laptop and enjoy some Bible-based Bleaching. Germany, you know how to party. How good is it to have you here? Sehr gut!
Mexico has 6 people. 2 of them are probably my niece and her fiance’. Well, they BETTER be following. If they AREN'T, that means I could get this number up to 8 people when they DO finally show up and start reading this blog. No, make that 9! ‘Cause they have that puppy now. Puppies LOVE this blog.
Of course, if that number DOES include them already, I really only have 4 people in Mexico. Well 3 if you count of that dang puppy. Which stinks. I LOVE Mexico, I should have no less than sinko times ocho in Mexico. Whatever that is. I’ll straighten this all out at the wedding. HOLA, Mexico! I love Rosetta Stone!
Speaking of fiance’s, Denmark has 2 readers of this blog, one of which is probably Gidget’s old fiance’, Karl. Hello, Karl. Slipped on any ice lately? Well, we can only hope. By the way, it’d be great if you’d send Gidget her Bill Cosby records back, now that she’s been married to me for, oh I don't know, 25 years now? I think she’s a little bit "over you" and your "sexy accent" by now so how 'bout you send back the records as soon as you figure out how to lick a stamp.
Just think, Karl, if you’d held on to that so-called “clueless American girl” you’d be married to Gidget right now, writing an award-winning preaching blog, and leading a huge semi-global Blurch into the 21st Century, instead of drinking yourself silly, alone and depressed at some frozen, Danish pub with a broken TV!!
Anyhow...and greetings to our OTHER reader in Denmark, the one who ISN'T Karl. Here's a tip: Don't talk to Karl, he's trouble. Skoll!
The United Kingdom has 2 readers. My guess: the Queen and James Bond. Cheerio! I LOVE Cheerios, by the way. It’s the Englishman in me, I guess.
China has exactly 1, as in ONE reader of this blog. Wow. That is so sad.
Hi there, 1.
:)
How’s it goin’? This must stink for you. 4 billion people in that country and you’ve got exactly NObody to compare notes with about this great blog. That’s terrible.
Listen, if there’s anything I can do for ya, any topics you want me to hit just lemme know and I’ll get it done.
The good news is, you are what’s called our “TOE HOLD” in ASIA! We are clutching onto the side of the cliff for dear life with ONE GUY in China! Don’t let us down China guy! As Paul once said, all the parts of the Lord’s body are important, but in THIS case the TOE (that’s You) is REALLY important. We lose you, we are basically dead meat at the bottom of the cliff in China.
GENTLE PERSONAL TIP, China: Get out more. Get some friends, play some ping pong with somebody, then tell them about the blog and double our readership there. Please don’t leave us! We NEED YOU!
And finally, in the United States we have 1,215 readers of this blog.
I think I just had a flash. Look I’m excited you’re all here, America, but would it kill some of you to move to China once in a while to get our numbers up there? I love you, USA! Keep reading, just do it in China! And work in some math skills while you're at it.
I think I just had a flash. Look I’m excited you’re all here, America, but would it kill some of you to move to China once in a while to get our numbers up there? I love you, USA! Keep reading, just do it in China! And work in some math skills while you're at it.
What an exciting time this is for the world. Thank you all for helping with this massive effort. I leave you with these words...
“Ask not what the Preacher can do for you,
ask how much it costs to fly to China
and read this blog from there.”
As together we stand and sing.
BP
