Sunday, April 10, 2011

Church Service Survival #1

I'm not one of those preachers who doesn't understand the challenges of sitting in a pew.  

Pews can be tough to deal with.  Too hard, too soft, no reclining mechanism.  There's a reason why people don't put pews in their living room in front of the TV.

Depending on the pew, just getting through church can be a real challenge.  And depending on the Preacher you're listening to while sitting in that pew, the whole experience can border on abuse.  

Throw in some of those new-fangled church tunes where they sing "glory and praise, praise and honor and glory" 52 times in a row, and you are looking at the possibility and losing your mind entirely.  I think you might even have enough for a lawsuit.  I'm not sure who'd you sue, but I get on it if I were you.  You're NUTS!  Anyhow...

This is why it is so important to have survival techniques to get you through those particularly tough services.  For me, a "tough service" is any service in which I am not the one doing the preaching.  When I'm not the one preaching, I  get really bored and confused.  Sometimes that happens WHEN I'm preaching too but, not nearly as often.

So when I find myself having to endure a sermon where I know the guy is clearly making it up as he goes, or a song service that has a bass line impossible to find, I simply return to the mantra I have said to myself since the 90's.   It is an original poem I wrote  that has seen me through some tough, mind-numbing, intellectually draining services. It goes like this:
 
A song, a prayer
Some underwear
A sermon leaves you vexed
The only way to get through church
Text and text and text.

Brother Preacher
1998

Powerful words.
Powerful poem.

Funny underwear line.

I hope this helps you today as you try to get through someone else's sermon. Thank goodness I'm preaching today.

And together we stand and sing.

BP