Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bible Flip Scrip #2

Well, it's time once again for another edition of Bible Flip Scrip(ture)TM, where I just flip the pages on my Bible then stick my finger randomly into a section, then preach on whatever scripture my finger lands on.  

I LOVE Bible Flip Scrip. Saves time figuring out what to BleachTM on.  And if I draw little pictures on the edges of the pages WHILE I'm flippin', it makes a little cartoon - which I love.  Anyhow, here we go.  

So I'll just flip the pages on my Bible here.  

I'm flipping...and finger...and...BOOM!  Fantastic.

Today's Bible Flip ScripTM comes to us from Psalms 104:18 where we read:
 

"The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats; 
and the rocks for the conies."


What in the world?  

Well, here is yet another example of "Bible Verses Joel Olsteen Will Never Touch".   

Lemme tell ya, preachin's not for wimps.  It takes a REAL Preacher to do "Bible Flip Scrip" on a wacky verse like this.  Doesn't scare me though.  I'll preach on anything.  One time, I preached on Splenda.  Anyhow... 

You say, "Preacher, what in the WORLD is a CONY?"

You're not gonna believe this, but that was EXACTLY what I was thinkin' just NOW. 

There's not a LOT we know about the Cony of the Bible.  What we DO know is that there was usually more than one of 'em, and they liked to hide in rocks, usually near a goat.  

Eventually the Cony left Israel and settled near what is now New York City, on the Island of Cony.  There they established a wonderful amusement park and a delicious snack known today as the Cony Dog.  

Sadly, the Cony Cat is lost to history.  Probably didn't make the boat ride over.  Cats hate water, as you know.  And aren't too crazy about roller coasters either.  

On the other hand, I think we're all pretty clear on what a GOAT is.  And the fact that in this verse they're hidin' up in the hills makes sense considering the fact that absolutley EVERY other verse you read in the Bible about goats, has them gettin' killed or slaughtered for some dang sacrifice!  

I'm serious!  I DEFY you to find a HAPPY goat verse!

Poor little goat.  Bet he wishes he was a Cony.  

I know I do.  I LOVE roller coasters.  And hot dogs. 

As together we stand and sing.
BP