The following is an excerpt from my upcoming autobiography,
"The Last Great Preacher".
I am currently looking for a publisher, and will continue to do so for the rest of today.
Of course by Saturday (tomorrow), it'll be too late.
So if you know any publishers who I could call sometime today - please give them my name, and this excerpt. And the link to this blog, of course. I need all the followers and page hits I can get.
Thanks - BP
THE LAST GREAT PREACHER
BY BROTHER PREACHER
(A TRUE STORY)
(BASED ON MY SERMON: THIS IS IT, STRAIGHTEN UP!)
CHAPTER ONE: THE END
There once was a handsome, fit, award-winning Preacher (who at one time could've been a male model with the right head shots and breaks), who spent his last week on earth unselfishly warning his semi-global audience that the world was coming to an end.He even did it on the LAST day of the world (that's TODAY, by the way), when he could've been watching movies and practicing his Tie Kwon Don't.
"What an amazing guy," thought all the others.
But naturally, there were OTHER others (there always are) called doubters, and scoffers of the Preacher's compelling message of doom. Even his wife, Gidget, and Mother thought he was just kiddin' around. However he was not. He was dang serious.
Often, in his private time between writing his award-winning blog, and autobiography, and coming up with sermon ideas, the Preacher referred to himself as Noah. Noah, of course, was also a Preacher who preached to a bunch of mouthy doubters and mothers and wives.
But after the flood, Noah was the one who was still alive and then got drunk on a nice, dry mountain, while his scoffers were taking bets on how long they could doggie paddle.
Then the Preacher let everyone know he would NOT be getting drunk on a mountain after the world ended. Which made his mother happy, to say nothing of Gidget.
And it came to pass that on the last day before the world ended, the Preacher found a publisher for his autobiography and made a million bucks, which he gave to flood victims in honor of Noah. After he got a cool car.
THE END
(of this excerpt)
Not bad.
I shoulda been writing autobiographies for years.
So anyhow, as you know this IS the LAST day of the world. I think I've said what I need to say on this topic. If you don't get it by now, you're on your own.
I still dont know if I'll be BleachingTM (blog-Preaching) tomorrow or not. Depends on what time the world actually ends. But check back just in case.
So anyhow - good luck, wear clean underwear, and don't blame me if you find yourself in agony and eternal flames by tomorrow night.
Boo woo, for you.
COUNTDOWN TO FINAL DESTRUCTION:
1 DAY
As together we stand and sing.
BP
Second Coming Cam - live shot
