Saturday, October 22, 2011


I know many of you are wondering...

What happened to Friday's Blermon (blog-sermon)?  

Is it OK?  Has it been absconded?  Was it Blermon-napped?  Did Joel Olsteen have anything to do with this caper? 

Well, between you and me, I wouldn't put it past him.  I think it's pretty much common knowledge that Olsteen has been secretly coveting this Blurch (blog-church) and my powerful Blermons (blog-sermons) for months now.  

I know that makes some of you mad when I say that about Joel.  But hey, don't get mad at me, I'm just the messenger.  If you have a problem with this "Olsteen Blermon Conspiracy", perhaps you should head down to Texas and have a chat with Mr. Olsteen about it - I'm just sayin'...he LOOKS guilty.  

All I know is, it was my understanding that yesterday's Blermon was "in the can" and ready to go.  So naturally, I went about my other important Preacher duties (concordance shopping, sniffing out heretics, sermon gesture practice).

Imagine my surprise when I awoke this morning and saw that there was NO Blermon yesterday.  I broke out in a cold sweat and had to take a pedicure. 

You say, "Preacher, lighten up!  It was just one day without your award-winning Blermon.  Who cares?"

Oh, really?  Well, I don't know if you noticed but I missed just ONE day of Bleaching and what happened?  Oh nothing much.  Just...

...Libya falling into the hands of  rebels!  

And some of you think I'm just sittin' here typing at myself.  Face it: My Blermons are powerful stuff.

I just wish I could figure out what happened.  Perhaps I should reconsider the terrifying stories I used to hear Preachers tell back at the Sunshine School Of Preaching about mysterious disappearing sermon areas called: "Sermuda Triangles".

Sermons that were ready to go and in a Preacher's Bible would suddenly go missing right as the Preacher mounted the pulpit.  A lot of guys lost their jobs.  A lot of Song Leaders had to conduct "Emergency Singings".  It wasn't pretty. 

Of course,  in this case it would be a "Blermuda Triangle", I guess.

I just got a chill down my back.  I wish my wife Gidget was here.

As together we stand and sing.

Is Joel in THIS picture?  We may never know.