Sunday, October 23, 2011


I suppose if I wasn't a Preacher, I'd probably have to run for President.

I wouldn't wanna BE President, I just think I'd like running part.  After all, I love giving speeches (preaching), riding buses (joy bus), and corn dogs (the best church potlucks ALWAYS have corn dogs).  

I'm a pretty good debater too.  Last year I debated one of our semi-borderline brethren on the topic:  "Who is A Semi-Borderline Brother?"  I destroyed him.  He never saw it comin'.

I think the hardest part for most of these guys running for President now is the preaching part.  Let's face it, most of them aren't very good at it, and the few that ARE considered good at it, aren't that good either - they're just better than the others.  It's a low bar.  I'd kill.

The biggest problem is all these non-preacher candidates don't know how to put a sermon together.  

This is why Herman Cain (the part-time preacher) is getting so much traction right now.
Herman: In "Preacher" mode

999?  Are you kiddin' me?  Not only does that thing "preach" - it'll preach itself. 

I don't even know what it means, and I don't care.  Ever since I heard him talk about it, all I can do is imagine seeing it on a a big 'ole bed sheet at a tent revival.  I may have to steal this idea.  It's too good.  Of course when I do it it'll be a more Bible-y number.  Like 40, 40, 40 or maybe 7, 7, 7.  6,6,6 has been done, done, done - so that's out.

999 was clearly thought up by a Preacher.  I mean look: it's got three points, they all start with the same letter, and you could make the case that they all "rhyme"; if you count saying the same word 3 times as rhyming.

They better watch out for Preacher Herman.  Us preachers may not know much about how to be a President, but if one of us ever makes it all the way to the Oval Office...

Get your dunk on!

...I know a certain reflecting pool that had better watch it's back.  Can somebody say...


As together we stand and sing.