Friday, June 10, 2011


One time on Twitter I twooted: 
 "Hey look!  I'm twitting!"

To which I received exactly ZERO responses. 

Another time I twipped:

"A cicada just landed on my wife Gidget's shoulder - tell her?"
To which I received exactly ONE response:

"Yes.  Love, Gidget."

In desperation for SOME kind of response, I once (in a moment of weakness) twerped this rather revealing photo of myself :
All I got was an ad from Zappos.  They had a sale on sandals.  It was a very good deal.  I LOVE Zappos, by the way.  Great selection, fantastic customer service.

Clearly, Twitland has yet to be conquered by this semi-daily, semi-global BlinistryTM (blog-ministry).  And yet it is so very vital to world domination.  I mean, saving souls.

Which is why I don't care what anybody says about Congressman Weiner and the Twitter Tornado that has engulfed him recently - naturally, I feel for all the people adversely affected by his less than brilliant decision to  Twerp tweets instead of opting for a nice 6 hour game of Cats Physics or maybe Fruit Ninja Lite.  

It's hard to get into too much trouble when you're rolling balls to kittens and choppin' flyin' fruit with a huge pretend knife.  

Trust me, I know.  I have TRIED to get in trouble while playing Cat Physics - nearly impossible.  That's how effective it is.  Almost better than curling up in front of the fire with a nice, big Strong's Bible Concordance and a bowl of popcorn.

But regardless of all the embarrassment and trouble and pain caused by the Congressman's decision to twit instead of clean out lint from the dryer, bottom line:

I wish I had his Twit Hits.

Let's face it, the guy's got over 76,000 followers on Twitter now. I have 53.  I only have 31 on this blog.  I'm all for bein' "underground" and hip and all but be serious.  What's wrong with this picture?  Pretty much everything.  

Can you imagine what this BlongregationTM (blog-congregation) could do with even HALF that many followers and Twip Hits?  I can imagine, but I won't.  It's not good for me to play those kind of "what if" scenarios with myself this early in the morning.  I get too excited and start eating Cheerios by the handful.  Like I always say, "Don't shop for pews unless you came to sit." 

Somethin' like that.

The Bible has very little to say about  Twitter etiquette.  Probably because in addition to not having Twitter back then, Congressmen were in short supply.  And the few they DID have were probably busy figuring out what to do with all that sand.

All we can do is our best.  I'll keep typing, you keep reading and commenting.  

I'll pray, you fast.  

It'll work.  

In the meantime, I may see if THIS gets a rise out of anybody out there.

You never know.

As together we stand and sing.


1 comment:

  1. Ah, apologies, BP, but I am not on Twitter--that whole "character limit" thing would not work well with my loquaciousness and love of wordy rambling.

    Rest assured, though, if I were a part of Twitter, I would not leave your tweets uncommented.

    (By the by, I think your follower count can be upped to 32--I follow by LiveJournal, not email, so I don't show up on the followers list. **Shrugs**)

    I will indeed continue to comment here. (Though, uh, the fasting... not so much. There's a pizza out there with my name on it, sorry...)