Thursday, May 19, 2011


Let's face it,  the "Last Days" BleachingTM (blog-preaching) I've been grinding out all this week just MIGHT be my most earth-shaking BlermonTM (blog-sermon) Series to date.  

It's powerful stuff.  

And I'm a powerful Preacher.  

That's a deadly combo.  You don't stand a chance. Give up now.

Of course, I've HAD my doubters along the way.  When I first started Bleaching this series many thought it was a joke.  Others thought I had simply stumbled upon a topic I could milk for a week of easy Blermons (blog-sermons).  

I WILL admit, it HAS been handy.

Jay, a valuable member of this BlongregationTM, put it this way in a comment on an earlier Blermon from this week.  Jay writes...

BP....I commend you for your courage in taking on this issue, but I fear your warning is not being taken seriously. The faithful in the fold are listening, and we're with you on the whole "Go out and do something cool" admonition. But I fear the masses are scoffing. Surely you knew it would happen, that in the last days scoffers would come scoffing. If you really want to sound the alarm I suggest that on your next visit to the diner, you might try squeeking out a couple verses of troublesome times are here filling men's hearts with fear. -- Jay

Clearly, Jay has done some Preaching in his time.  He knows that sometimes you just have to scare the pants off of people if you want results.

What am I saying?  Simpy this: prepare to be SERMON SCARED!

If I have to go to my favorite diner in shorts and sweaty thighs and start "squeakin'' out scary CHURCH songs on the pleather diner stools just to save a few...

Don't PUSH me.  I'll DO it.  I've DONE it.  This morning! 

With the world coming to an end on Saturday, I've got a pretty light schedule these days.  It's not hard for me to FIND the time to "Diner Stool Church Song Squeak."

And don't think I don't know that the closer we get to Saturday, all of this is starting to make SOME of you just a little bit nervous.

"What if 'ole BP is RIGHT?"

"What if it really IS over on Saturday?"
"Maybe I WILL skip work Friday, after all!"

And you can bet I'LL be skipping work on Friday.  Heck...I've skipped work all this week!  

And to all those cranky Elders of mine who try to make me teach Ladies Bible Class every week I have just 3 words:    



I LOVE scarin' the pants off of people.  

And dogs.  Here are TWO.  As in "All the days you have left".

As together we stand and sing.



  1. I was expecting the Army Guys today. But, no. You bring out the Hounds of Heaven!

    Brilliant. Brilliant!!

  2. Does this mean there will be holy sanctuary from the cicadas?? Praise Jesus!

  3. For those in the Blongergation who have had the pants scared off them, read Mondays comment about avoiding Kilts on Saturday.