Thursday, July 28, 2011

BP'S SERMON CHECKLIST



1.) WELCOME 
  - Visitors
  - Regular Members
  - Members who attend like Visitors.

2.) ANNOUNCEMENTS
  - The Summer Jell-o Salad Picnic is this Tuesday at noon.  We need more shaved carrots!  If you have shaved carrots or carrots that CAN be shaved, see Dottie.
  - Ladies Bible Class has been cancelled due to lack of Ladies who haven't read the book of Ruth in the last 20 years.
  -Dick and Doris Melanie have a new Lazy Boy recliner!  It is the kind with the drink holders and attachments for video games.  Dick sends thanks for all of your prayers over the years asking for the recliner.  Doris asks for your prayers for the coming years.

SERMON: 
Fish, Friends and Forgiveness

INTRODUCTION 
  a.) Funny farm story about a talking fish.
   b.) Scripture reading (TBD)
   c.) Power Point pic of me fishing in Montana (the weird hat one).

POINT #1 FRY A FISH
  a.) Sad story about a fish I killed.
  b.) Scripture of Jesus eating fish (TBD).
  c.) YouTube vid of guy frying fish and falling into the water.

POINT #2: FRY A FRIEND
  a.) Funny/scary story about a Friend I almost killed while fishing (in Idaho, not the Manitoba friend).
   b.) Make a reference to JAWS, friends, fish, people dying etc.
  c.) Show JAWS clip (long version) 
  d.) Buy new book on "How to Format A Sermon" (this is too hard).


POINT #3: FORGIVE, FORGET, FORECLOSE(ing).
  a.) Make some big point here.

  b.) Moment of silence
  c.) Tie everything together
  d.) Dog Poem: Why Dogs Make Me Cry And Fish Don't.


GIVE ALTAR CALL/INVITATION

Say...

As together we stand and sing.

BP 

2 comments:

  1. My mom forced me to try the "jello salad" at church one Wednesday night, which had shaved carrots in it along with some grapes and I think there was even some rice in it too..(who puts rice in jello???) anyway, I took one bite and commenced to puking my guts out right there at the table in front of the whole church. Needless to say, mom never made me eat jello again!

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  2. This is a terribly moving tale. I hope you had some kind of therapy for it. No child should be subjected to Jell-o Salad. And rice? RICE? Even I have not experienced RICE in Jell-o Salad. Now I may need therapy.

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