Friday, March 18, 2011

The Day After (Saint Patrick's Day)

You know, every year I am  amazed by the unexpected wonderfulness of March 18th.

And this year has been no exception. Once again I awake to find that the birds are singing, the sun is shinning, the coffee is brewing, and I feel pretty dang good.  Primarily because I didn't  drink myself into a "Lephrachanic Stupor" on March 17th.

It is amazing what NOT abusing your body can do for creating a positive outlook on life.  Sadly, for many of you, this is not the case. For many of you reading this blog right now, you have a head that feels like a whirlpool filled with pancake batter and a tongue that tastes like it's grown hair.  I'm sorry to hear that.  I know it must stink.

And there is NOTHING worse than waking up on March 18th, thinking you were gonna "sleep it off" the following Saturday, only to find out that you've miscalculated and it's actually FRIDAY!  Now, "Mr. Fun" has to roll his fat rear out of bed, try to scrub the green paint off his stomach, put on a suit and give a talk on new zoning laws and how it will affect the property taxes in Tulsa.

Let's face it - your life is stinking right now.  No wonder you're wasting time reading stupid blogs.

The good news is, you're not alone.  There are many in the exact same position as you.  Some of them in the same room as you right now,  trying to act like they're understanding your rambling speech about the zoning laws in Tulsa.

Be kind.  It could be YOU someday.

What am I talkin' about?  It IS you!

Right NOW!

I believe, one of the best ways to recover from this horrible, sick feeling is to read the Bible.  Try reading about other famous drunks of scripture, notice how it worked out for them, and then determine if seeing your buddy Ralph dancing on the table last night in nothing but sweat socks and a watch, was as funny as it seemed at the time. 

For example, Noah got drunk and had relations with his daughters.  Samson got drunk and lost all his hair and super-human strength.  YOU got drunk slept with who knows what, and will probably lose your bloomin' job! 

Finally, study the famous Lephrechans of the Bible.

There aren't a LOT of those...unless you count Zacheus...which I am.  I don't think he was green, but he WAS short and lived in a tree. And THAT'S something we can ALL learn from.  At least, I think we can. 

Happy March 18th everybody!



  1. So pleased to see that the Blogosophere has been enriched all the more by Brother Preacher. Would be hard to measure the intellectual impact that such daily doses will have upon the blogosphere.

  2. I think this blog has potential to change my life. As I read, my mind wondered (semi-frequently) to one of MY favorite david dark quotes,
    "And for the sake of humility--a characteristic crucial to sacred questioning we might do well to confess that we're capable at any moment of such bad religion ourselves."
    not saying that what you were writing about was 'bad religion'. I just like that quote.

  3. OMG! Looking at your picture 'in motion' AND as I watch March Madness right now as I'm typing; I must ask you your views on tourney time for college basketball. Who do you think God wants to win? I think he wants Kentucky to win. What about you?

  4. Imagine my shock hitting the link in my email and opening this blog to see the face of BP with Spiritual Sword in hand ready to smite the heathens. I was a little disappointed at the lack of proof texts in this missive (so many missed opportunities and potentially lost souls). Then it struck me, this is a clever new style of apologetics (I'm sorry) developed by the master of confused communication. How clever! One thing needed: link to Jewel Miller filmstrips on YouTube (it is available isn't it?). A man in a drunken stupor (the intended audience) will click on any link to see where it leads (I did). Good luck on this new high-tech, fancy new fangled innovation called a blog (I do not think that the Apostle Paul had one).

  5. Imagine with what trepidation I beheld the unleashing of the Preacher beyond the walls of Collins Auditorium. Those were powerful words, powerful words...even without rhymes or hand choreography.

  6. If it had rhymes or hand choreography, we could make it a pub song and then people could get sloppo drunk on March 17th.
    Honestly BP, I was out mowing my lawn thinking about yesterday. I had 3 gigs, 2 of them St. Patrick's day gigs. I have done as many as 5 in years past. It is my least favorite day to play Celtic music (which you know I love). The pubs are populated not by music lovers, but amateur drunks. (the worst, most obnoxious kind). It is the one time a year that I play music in self defense. (louder, and faster).
    I thought earlier today of posting the real history of St. Patrick on my FB page. I think if people want to get trashed and embarrass themselves publicly, they should call March 17th something else. BP, you could come up with a great name. Put please folks, think about St. Patrick. Is this really a way to honor a hero of our faith??
    Sorry, BP, I didn't mean to get so serious and erudite on your blog page. I will tell humorous anecdotes next time...

  7. I suppose I just have a problem with folks preaching about drinking as an evil thing. It is NOT. Some folks just don't do a very good job of it but most do just fine - thank you very much.

  8. Amen, Brother, Amen.

  9. property taxes in Tulsa...classic

  10. Wow, I totally missed the 18th... Were you talking about me again?

  11. I agree with April. God wants KY to win. I love getting blessings, Brother Preacher, especially when they are so amusing and enthusiastically ignorant. It is a reminder of how little we are capable of understanding or, in some cases, repeating:)

  12. I dig it! Thanks for telling me about your blog, Greg! :)

  13. This is so exciting. I love comments. Thanks so much for them. I love them.

    And preaching.

    And Jell-O cut into little cubes.


  14. Now that depends on the Jell-O, brother. You got's the vodka Jell-O, you got's the tequila Jell-O, you got the mellow Jell-O but then you got's the Halelujah, praise the Lord Jell-O! Now you are experiencing why the snakes were so pissed off at St. Patrick! Jell-O on my brother!
    Your Harmonica playin' puppet!
    Charlie Sheen - WINNING! Praise Brother Bill Cosby the first Jell-Oin