Friday, June 3, 2011


Once again I have proof positive that the Lord wasn't kidding when he said he would provide.

It may not be what we were expecting or even wanting, but guaranteed, SOMEthing WILL be provided whether you like it or not.  That kind of assurance isn't for everybody - but I like it.

I am referring, of course, to the way in which the Lord has recently provided a fabulous new preaching opportunity for me while my wife, Gidget and I are "on the road".

As many of you know, I am a wandering missionary of sorts these days, scouring the country in search of pulpits to mount when no one's lookin'.  And here we are, just a few days into this adventure and I've already scored my first wedding.  It's my niece's in Oklahoma.  

I've done some of my best work in the big "OK".  I was also dis-fellowshiped twice here, but on balance, I think I'm gonna kill. 

Now it IS true, I am not "officially" on the docket to preach this wedding, but that's never stopped me in the past.  Besides, as everyone knows, weddings have killed off more Preachers than you can count.  Usually, during the ceremony.  Often the combined stress of grumpy elders, teaching Ladies Bible Class AND dealing with a crazy bride and her mother has put more than one Preacher in the ground early. 

It's tough out there. 

So, in light of this tragic trend, you've GOT to have capable, handy, Preaching School-qualified Preachers at the ready with a 3 point, New Testament-based, illustration-rich sermon to jump in at a moments notice.  

Lucky for you, I'm here.  I AM that Preacher.  

I may LOOK like the back-up guy, but I'm really the hero of the whole wedding in back-up guy clothes.  Trust me, I've made a CAREER of doin' this.  There's nobody who can touch me in hornin' in on weddings.

I do it not so much because I like weddings (the food isn't really my style - I prefer funeral food), but because weddings are an excellent opportunity for what I call "Sniper Sermon Preaching".  

While the crowd is expecting for me to give all that lovey-dovey, "do you take" junk, I jump up and blast 'em with a good old-fashioned "Sodom and Gomorrah - straighten up - barn -burner- special".  Maybe throw in some teeth gnashin' stuff at the end.  I love it.  They don't know what hit 'em.  

With Sniper Wedding Sermons, I can average right around 5 baptisms a wedding.  Of course, the weddings don't always "take" like we'd like but, come on...anybody can do a wedding, it takes a PREACHER to pull off 5 baptisms AT a wedding.  

Plus that, I'm already married so what do I care?  Whatever.

So, Saturday is the BIG DAY.  I'll play it cool til then; pretend to help Gidget with the whole fish bowl, boutonniere, cake thing; but as soon as that other Preacher keels over in his Bible,

Did somebody say, "Preach-a-pa-lujah"?

I LOVE Preaching weddings.  Don't you?  Who wouldn't?

The cake isn't bad either.

Stay tuned Preaching fans - I'm goin' in.  

As together we stand and sing.



  1. Good luck; good thing about the covert approach at weddings is you get to leave the pre marital counseling to the other joker. Nice.

  2. Congratulations to your sister...I think