THOUGHT OF THE DAY #9

Here's a thought...

Hold on.  Nope.  Sorry.

I think that was gas.

My bad. Coulda sworn that was a thought.

Retitling now...

BURP OF THE DAY #1

That's better.   Well, it's not BETTER, but it IS more accurate.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

THE CHURCH ANTS (#8)

As together we stand and sing.

BP

POEM POWER (#4)

Saturday night 

Is always so fun 

Unless you're a Preacher

Who's sermon's not done.

Aliens and Cowboys?

Or Bibles and Pews?

Another decision,

That's so hard to choose.

Should I stay in

And study and pray?

Or go into town

Buy Goobers and play?

Which do I pick?

What should I do?

A movie or Church?
Popcorn or Ruth? 

Read my concordance

Thought of Harrison Ford

Wasn't he good

Way back in Star Wars?

Then out of the blue

My brain stops hurtin'.

A movie illustration

Might pep up my sermon.

So I pack up my Bible

Assured I can swing it. 

I'll go out tonight

Tomorrow I'll wing it.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

THE BLERMON CHALLENGE (#1)

Recently someone sent me this picture...

...and submitted the challenge that I wouldn't be able to BleachTM (blog-preach) a BlermonTM (blog-sermon) about it.  

This may come as a surprise to many of you, but I'm afraid they were right.  I CAN'T Bleach a BlermonTM about it.  I can BleachTM THREE.  I've already finished the titles for them:

1.) The Parable of the Mouthy Elder Fish.

2.) When Bad Things Happen To Ugly Fish.

3.) What Would Jesus Do With THESE?

I could also make a couple of pretty cool Bible Greeting Cards out of it too.

"Missed you at the last Pot Luck Dinner..."

"Day Old Fish, Day Older You.  Happy Birthday!" 

(insert Bible fish verse)

"Congratulations on getting baptized!  Some friends who were there wanted to say hi". 

I could also do a short video/documentary called: 

 

Fishers of MEN

 Smell Better.

I wish somebody could tell me how do I do it?    I'm amazing.  I'm a BlermonTM force of nature.  A BleachingTM Wonder.

Let's eat.  Red Lobster tonight, Gidget?

As together we stand and sing.

BP 

PS: New Movie idea:

"HE AIN'T AN UGLY, DEAD FISH...

HE'S MY BROTHER."

BP'S SERMON CHECKLIST

1.) WELCOME 
  - Visitors
  - Regular Members
  - Members who attend like Visitors.

2.) ANNOUNCEMENTS
  - The Summer Jell-o Salad Picnic is this Tuesday at noon.  We need more shaved carrots!  If you have shaved carrots or carrots that CAN be shaved, see Dottie.
  - Ladies Bible Class has been cancelled due to lack of Ladies who haven't read the book of Ruth in the last 20 years.
  -Dick and Doris Melanie have a new Lazy Boy recliner!  It is the kind with the drink holders and attachments for video games.  Dick sends thanks for all of your prayers over the years asking for the recliner.  Doris asks for your prayers for the coming years.

SERMON: 

Fish, Friends and Forgiveness

INTRODUCTION 
  a.) Funny farm story about a talking fish.
   b.) Scripture reading (TBD)
   c.) Power Point pic of me fishing in Montana (the weird hat one).

POINT #1 FRY A FISH
  a.) Sad story about a fish I killed.
  b.) Scripture of Jesus eating fish (TBD).
  c.) YouTube vid of guy frying fish and falling into the water.

POINT #2: FRY A FRIEND
  a.) Funny/scary story about a Friend I almost killed while fishing (in Idaho, not the Manitoba friend).
   b.) Make a reference to JAWS, friends, fish, people dying etc.
  c.) Show JAWS clip (long version) 
  d.) Buy new book on "How to Format A Sermon" (this is too hard).


POINT #3: FORGIVE, FORGET, FORECLOSE(ing).
  a.) Make some big point here.
  b.) Moment of silence
  c.) Tie everything together
  d.) Dog Poem: Why Dogs Make Me Cry And Fish Don't.


GIVE ALTAR CALL/INVITATION

Say...

As together we stand and sing.

BP 

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Well, it happened.  

Yesterday was INDEED, one of THOSE days.

You know the kind I'm talkin' about.

But no, it wasn't one of THOSE those days.

It wasn't one of those days where nothing goes right and everything goes wrong.  The kind where you put salt in the coffee and sugar on the potatoes; get a notice on that property tax bill you forgot about and lose your favorite pen down the toilet.  

What do you mean you've never  put salt in your coffee?  Just me?  Oh.  OK, Smartie Pants. Good for you.  Anyhow...

It wasn't one of THOSE days.

It also wasn't one of those days where nothing could go wrong.  The kind of day where you find yourself virtually in the zone, flawless, effortless, brilliant.  The kind of day where you wake up, look in the mirror and are astonished by just how dang handsome you are without even tryin'.  The kind of day where you win the lottery without even buying a ticket.


Nope.  It was not like that either. Yesterday was a different one of THOSE days.  But it was still the kind of day that you don't too quickly forget...if ever.

Yesterday was one of those days where you unexpectedly spend time laughing really hard in a pizza joint, in the middle of the day, with a good friend, who you love and admire beyond words, and hear them tell you how great life is for them right now, and how busy they are, and how creative they've been.  

And it feels so good to hear them tell you all about it, and to see the joy on their face, and you are so happy and grateful for that moment because it reminds you how good it can be.

And it was one of those days where a little later on, you see another friend who you love and admire, who's been struggling so hard and so bravely for so long just to survive, stand up on a stage, so weak and sick and frail,  in front of hundreds of other friends, and somehow, incredibly, miraculously do what he does better than anybody else in the world.  

And you can't believe your eyes, and you hold your breath, and you beat back the tears, and you try not to pass out, and when the song's over, you find yourself cheering louder than you ever have, but you can't hear yourself cheering because there are just too many others around you cheering too.

And it just kills you, because you're just so happy and grateful for that moment to see the joy on his face, and to feel the love in the room because it reminds you how good it can be. 

And it was one of those days where the phone rings and it's another friend, who you've loved and admired since you were a kid, who's gone through a really rough time lately.  So rough that you didn't think you'd ever have this conversation.  And your heart's been breaking for days as you've waited to hear if he made it or not, and if he'd be normal afterwards or not, and you can't quite believe you're actually hearing his voice.

So when you hear him say hello it just kills you, and you stutter for a moment while you try to force words, that are suddenly too big and too important, out of your mouth.  

So you fight back the tears, and you hold your breath, and you crack some jokes to try and lighten the mood, and then you both laugh a little.  But all you're thinking is how glad you are he's still around, and how great it is that he still thinks your dumb jokes are funny, and how relieved you are that what he so cruelly tried to do to himself didn't work, and that you hope with everything you've got that he knows now how many are out here still cheering for him, and still hoping for him, and still in awe of him, and still needing him and still loving him more than he will ever know.   

And when you hang up, you're just so happy and grateful for that moment because it reminds you  how good it IS.   

It was one of THOSE days yesterday.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

THOUGHT OF THE DAY #8

Today's thought of the day, isn't mine originally, but since hearing it, I DO think it on a regular basis as if it were my own. Hopefully someday I'll forget who thought it first and I'll be able to claim it as my very own.  I love having something to look forward to.

So in some ways, this is sort of a Guest Thinker.  Eat your heart out, Joel Olsteen.

Here it is:

"What you ARE

Is what you have been.

What you'll BE

Is what you do NOW."

- Buddha 

Before you go, you may wanna re-read that one again.  It's good.  

As is my "Snoopy On Too Much Benadryl" picture below.

As together we stand and sing.

BP