SERMPROVISE IT!

I was recently asked by one of my...what’s the phrase I’m looking for...adoring, foot washing, koo koo for me fans...I guess that’s close enough.  You get it.  Anyhow...

I was recently asked, “Brother Preacher, is it true that you are actually a self-taught preacher?”

The answer is “no”.  Though it DOES come across that way sometimes.  But thank-you for the compliment. 

I am actually a highly trained Minister of the Word, having studied for 9 years at the Sunshine School of Preaching, Colorado Springs.

That’s sounds more impressive that it is considering the fact that it was only a 6-month course.  Still, I enjoyed my time there - probably more than I should have.

In the meantime I have become what is called an “Improviser of Sermons” or if you will a “Sermproviser.” I just make ‘em up as I go!   

This is why my sermons tend to have that fresh, "what the heck is he talkin’ about", “look what I found” feel about them.  The reason they feel that way is because that is exactly what they are!  Amazing how that works.

I love making up sermons.  Unlike a lot of Preachers, sometimes, I actually LEARN something from MY sermons.  That's because as I’m listening to my sermon, it is as new to ME as it is to anybody else.  It's like a "Sermon Surprise" every time I open my mouth!

It’s a weird experience, really.  I had a doctor friend who used to do surgeries the same way.  HE was a RIOT to hang around with, lemme tell ya!  These days,  he's down in Arizona, enjoying his time as a full-time landscaper.  Anyhow...

I think the most important part of  making up or “Sermprovising” any sermon, is to not panic.  Just trust that your years of study will surface at just the right time and give you what needs to be said.   

When that DOESN’T happen know that you can always depend on having a good song leader who gets bored easily and who will happily cut you off after about 25 minutes.  Or 5 minutes, depending on how big the train wreck is.

As long as you have those two things - and an ample supply of stories about your kids - you TOO can “Sermprovise” with confidence knowing that...

Oops...here comes my radio song leader - out of time!  Gotta go.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

SATURDAY NIGHT

At times like these (late on Sauturday evening when I haven't quite got my sermon together for Sunday yet), I love to sing  wonderful hits from the fifties.

Naturally, I change the words just a little bit so that they might speak a little bit more to my fellow Preachers who  find themselves in a similar situation, and just realized what day it is.  This one's for YOU guys!

The folllowing award-winning lyrics should be sung to that tune "Well, It's Saturday Night".  At least I think that's what its called.  Whatever.  Who cares?  Good luck, fellas!

Well it's Saturday night

And I ain't got no sermon, 

Ain't got no sermon 

For my church on Sunday.

Oh how I wish 

I could steal one from Olsteen

But his are way too lame.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

POEM POWER (#4)

Saturday night 

Is always so fun 

Unless you're a Preacher

Who's sermon's not done.

Aliens and Cowboys?

Or Bibles and Pews?

Another decision,

That's so hard to choose.

Should I stay in

And study and pray?

Or go into town

Buy Goobers and play?

Which do I pick?

What should I do?

A movie or Church?
Popcorn or Ruth? 

Read my concordance

Thought of Harrison Ford

Wasn't he good

Way back in Star Wars?

Then out of the blue

My brain stops hurtin'.

A movie illustration

Might pep up my sermon.

So I pack up my Bible

Assured I can swing it. 

I'll go out tonight

Tomorrow I'll wing it.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

POEM POWER #2 - Sermon Coffee

 When the Lord gives you a poem, you are compelled to share it with the world.  

And even when he DOESN'T give you one, if you THINK of one and haven't figured out your BlermonTM for that day - you ALSO have to share it.  So...here it is:

SUNDAY MORNING

by BP

It's Sunday morning once again

The Preacher sits without a friend

Another sermon not quite done

He tries and tries but nothing comes

Into the bag of tricks he goes

Concordance, Bible, cup of Joe

"What will I preach?  I'd like to know!"

"What will I preach? To church I go."

Not a GREAT poem.  But not a great cup of Joe either.  Can't have one without the other in my book.

The point is this: Sermon preparation is so important.

But so is seeing a midnight showing of "Super 8" last night with Gidget.

It SEEMED like a good idea at the time.  This morning, I realized it was not.  Why?  Because I don't have a sermon.

Sigh.  Priority setting has never been my strong suit.

I really cannot calculate just how many Preachers reading this right now are in my same exact position. Don't be surprised if this morning YOUR Preacher uses a poem very similar to the one I just wrote in this BlermonTM this morning.  By similar, I mean the exact same poem.

I am a regular victim of Preacher Plagiarism.  It is a tragic problem sweeping the country, and one I hope to somehow cash in on soon.  It happens.

Annnnnd SCENE!

OK, I'm tried of typing now, so that oughtta do it.  Not bad, huh?  I think this BlermonTM had a little something for everyone in it today: a poem, a conspiracy theory, a picture of whatever THIS is...

And, of course  a puppy lookin' at a gopher thingy.

I tell ya, this blog does it all.

Now if I just had a sermon idea for this morning.

Stay tuned.  Don't steal my stuff.


As together we stand and sing.


BP