Sunday, March 27, 2011

Preaching Tip #2: What To Do With Sundays?

Sundays are so very vital to the Preacher's work week.  Why?  Because of all the days IN the week, it is the ONE day we actually DO any REAL work.

Sundays are why I prefer Mondays - which are my day off.  I also like Thursdays because I usually set it aside as a day of fasting and taking myself to lunch.  Fridays aren't bad because everybody is so busy looking forward to the week-end, they forget I'm even around. So it's really a second day off, which is kinda cool.

I love Saturdays because: CARTOONS RULE! 

Tuesdays are a handy time to work on my sermons or see an afternoon movie.  I LOVE movies.

Wednesdays stink.  I HATE Wednesdays.  I've usually got a class to do and some visits to get in.  And Wednesday is by FAR the hardest day of the week to SPELL correctly.  It looks like Wed-NES-day.  Which makes absolutely NO sense.  Thank-you, Polycarp!  Or whoever it's named after.  Wednesday-carp.

But Wednesdays are NOTHING compared to  SUNDAYS, which can be a REAL bear for the Preacher.  Let's talk bout it.

My Sunday usually starts off with a quick scan of the newspaper - I LOVE the Sunday comics, they're usually in color, and invariably I get sermon ideas from them. 

"Don't tear up the yard, Marmaduke!"
Jesus never tore up a yard.  
He cursed a fig tree once 
But that's because he was mad at it, 
Not trying to bury a bone in it.
Dare to be a Marmaduke!
Or whatever.
As together we stand and sing.

Something like that - you get it.

Next, I make myself a delicious bowl of Fruit Loops (get my fruit in) and some coffee (get the caffeine goin') some low fat milk (because my wife won't buy the REAL kind of milk) and a waffle (because I love waffles). 

A hard day of  preaching requires a serious breakfast.

And eventually a sermon. 

Which is why right after breakfast  I  begin to frantically work on my sermon for that day.  This is really the hardest, most stressful time of a Sunday for me. Or of the whole week, really.  

That's because it is at THIS precise moment, I realize I've messed around all week and never got around to gettin' my sermon done.  And if Marmaduke is crumby that day, I can be in REAL trouble.

So what do I do?

First, I turn on the Sunday morning church shows and I start memorizing as fast as I can.  Some would call this plagiarising, I call it "Memorizing As Fast As I Can."

But this can be tricky.  'Cause a lot of those guys, make no sense to me whatsoever.  Some have a tie on, some have spiky, cool hairdos.  I saw a guy one time preached a whole sermon from inside a school bus he'd brought up on stage.  It was amazing.  But I didn't HAVE a school bus handy at the time, so it was no help at all to ME.

So around that time I usually decide to just wing it like I always do.  And I'm fine with this.

After that, it's all pretty much a blur of preaching and classes and old ladies and kids and fried chicken and mad elders and confused visitors.  I LOVE it!  Sot of. 

But I get through it all with the Lord's help, and a LOT of announcements, and a kid's church presentation and a visiting missionary or two.  Before I know it, Sunday morning is a distant memory.

Which reminds me of the words of that old gospel preacher song:

"Come Monday, it'll be alright
Come Monday, I'll be holding you tight
I spent 4 lonely days
In the brown L.A. haze
Now what will I preach Sunday Night?
Oh, what will I preach...Sunday Night?"

Now be encouraged!  And go get your preach on today!   

(By the way, Marmaduke's pretty good today if you need some ideas.)

As together we stand and sing,



  1. Brother Preacher:

    I wish I could attend your house of worship. I would also like to visit your church some day. You seem like someone that I would like to watch on TV, or at least on YouTube. Until then I will check out your semi-daily blog on a semi-daily basis.

  2. Scott, I would love to have you visit my church - at the moment the whole operation is still pretty much out of DIY office I have off the garage. But we're growing. Sort of. So it's exciting. In a way. With you and a friend in attendance, we would practically double in size. So come by. Really. Like...this Sunday. Or now.