Saturday, May 21, 2011


By the time you read this, I'll probably already have been raptured on up into Glory, and be busy pickin' out a couple of mansions to move into, as well as gettin' fitted for my celestial robe and crown. 

It's an exciting time.  There's a lot to do up here in Heaven.  I AM dreading all the singin' though.  I just can't imagine a zillion years of...oh never mind.  It'll be fine.

The BAD news is, if you ARE reading this right now it probably means you have NOT been  raptured and have instead been, what is called, "Left Behind" Hell.  Or at least back on earth...getting READY to go to Hell.


I told you I wasn't kiddin' around.

Anyhow, I'm not sure of the exact rundown of events from here on out.  You'll either have 7 years of tribulation followed by the Judgement and then eternal damnation; or you may just go straight to the damnation part.  

I'm just not sure.  It's hard to tell. The Bible gets a little fuzzy on this stuff, no matter what Preachers tell ya.  They make a lot of that stuff up.  They have to, Revelation is a confusing, WEIRD little book!  But a great action movie. Anyhow...

Bottom line, it's pretty safe to assume that if you're readin' this now, you aren't where I am now, which means the rest of today won't be great for you.  

So, I thought the least I could do for the "bad boys" of my former BlongregationTM (blog-congregation) is to give a brief retrospective of this award-winning Blog.  

It ended way too young...and handsome.  So let's look back now at the last 2 months of these award-winning BlermonsTM.  

Cue sappy music.

Wow.  That was a mess.  I remembered it a lot better than that.  

Of course, it probably didn't help that I slid some old Craigslist photos in there.  I figured there might be somebody down there who could still use a wheel barrow and a Hide-a-bed.  And I think I still have 'em up on Craigslist.  Good price too.  Though I don't know if Pay Pal works here in Heaven.  I'll get back to you on that.

OK - so anyhow...have fun.  Burning in Hell.  Wish I could help but I'm really busy with the whole robe/crown/mansion thing.  

But I'll be praying for you all.  Though I don't think it will help much at this point.


As together we stand and sing.


 PS - This fencing is a STEAL.  Contact me now!  If it's possible.


  1. It has been a good run! Now we can be room mates again and I'll hang bags on the mansion walls. It'll look great! (I posted this before the whole rapture thing)

    Deacon Giff

  2. Just saw on the news that a guy had a 'pet watching' service where for $300 he would make sure he took care of your pet after you were raptured. He made $35,000 dollars and stated no refunds beginning today.

    A few thoughts:

    1) I can believe I didn't make plans for Dakota.

    2) by my calculations, 116 people took him up on it. ACTUALLY to be specific, 116.666666666 people took him up on it. Nothing else really needs to be said about this anymore. Know what I mean?

    3) do you really want someone who WITHOUT CERTAINITY knows they are going to burn in Hell taking CARE OF YOUR DOG?!?

    Gonna miss your excellent bleaching BP....

  3. Well, I'm still here... Guess I'll get to finish that "30-day meme" after all...

    But I shall miss the daily postings here. Sigh...

  4. hellonearth.

  5. heavonearth.