Tuesday, May 3, 2011


2 Kings 2:23-24 says this:  
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

Needless to say, I have ALWAYS loved this verse.    

Nowhere else in the Bible will you find such direct, clear teaching on what to do with mouthy kids who make fun of bald Preachers.  It's a simple formula really --

1.) Mouth off to a bald Preacher.

2.) Become supper for a bear.

What simplicity.  What clarity.

Just two more reasons why I LOVE the Old Testament!

Over the years many have commented on the "brevity of hair" that has become my ever increasing trademark.  Hat sellers and sun block lotion stores LOVE me, by the way. 

It's true, I have been known to deal with my few fading follicles as one might deal with a spoiled puppy.  I let them do whatever they want.  

And why not?  They're the "SURVIVORS", after all.  They STAYED when the "others" LEFT!   

I'm happy to have all 25 of them.  Or 19.  Whatever it is now.  So, let 'em do as they please.

What a joy it is for a Preacher in my particular situation, to find such a wonderfully specific solution to a such a common problem as the mouthy kid.   

Let's face it, kids can be cruel.  

But let's face it again, I can be crueler.  

I agree with Jesus when he said, "Whenever the Little Children come unto me, I SUFFER."

Somethin' like that.  

I'm quoting that from memory, of course but..well, you get it.  Bottom line: kids drove Jesus and Elijah NUTS!  And I'm no different!

So...watch yourself kids.  I've always wanted a couple of pet bears hangin' out in the back yard.  And for all you know, I've already made THAT little dream come true. And no, I would NOT  suggest you lookin' back there to see whether or not I really have 'em or not either.  

Why?  Because I just threw some hot dogs back there and those bears may already be in their feeding frenzy by now.  So...

Be cool.  Stay in school.  And don't get mouthy around a touchy, vain Preacher who just fed bears some hot dogs.  

As together we stand and sing.



  1. I couldn't "bear" to let this go without some kind of a comment. I can't believe a bald preacher has not yet commented on this. Must be that all the preachers are afraid to "weigh in" (slight fat joke) for fear that someone will accuse them of being bald.
    Old Preachers = funny stuff

  2. It's an excellent "Preacher-point" Glenn makes.

    The vast majority of Preachers in the Preacherhood these days think that wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a puka shell necklace to preach in, makes us forget that they are still portly and bald. We haven't forgotten.

    I say, "I'm bald and could stand to lose a few - mouth off about it and you WILL get eaten. As together we stand and sing."

    I find this technique MUCH more effective.