Tuesday, July 5, 2011


I used to know a kid named Kwalk-oo.

I also knew a kid named Brian.

Kwalk-oo got all the girls.  Why?  Because Kwalk-oo is a cool name.

The Old Testament is jam-packed with cool, weird names.  Let's look at a few of them.

First off there's Hagar; handmaid of Sarah, concubine of Abraham and mother of IshmaelIt was also one of the best Sunday Morning Funnies I have EVER read. Anything that's a Viking, a comic AND in the Bible is a tough combo to beat in my book.

Next there's Nimrod.  Nimrod was a great hunter and the son of Cush.  Nimrod is also a fantastic name to call somebody on the playground, as in, "You Nimrod!"  I find if you tell somebody off with a name from the Bible it is VERY tough to find a come back.  Same goes for "Stiff-necked, uncircumcised, white-washed sepulcher of dead men's bones."  There's just not anything you can say to that.

The King of Assyria's name was  Sennacherib.  I don't even know how to PRONOUNCE that name.  And what do you call him for short?  "Senn"?  "Rib"?  "Brian"?

Holofernes, General of Nebuchadnezzar, is no better.  "Hello, Holo!  Any orders for today?  Nice medals."

Gad was the son of Jacob and Zilpah.  Famous for inventing the phrase: "E-gad!"  As in, "E-gad, my mother is named Zilpah!"

Abihu was the Son of Aaron.  Always makes me think of that song, "Blue Abihu".

Adonijah was one of David's sons, and probably the trouble maker of the family.  You don't name an "easy" kid Adonijah, you name him Brian.  Adonijah was trouble.

Amram was Moses' dad.  And as tough as one and a half Dodge trucks.

As together we stand and sing.


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