Sunday, August 14, 2011


Well, I guess I really can't ignore it anymore.

The sudden, almost over-night, massive, semi-global popularity of this BlurchTM (blog- church), my BlermonsTM (blog-sermon), my unique brand of BleachingTM (blog-preaching) to this BlongregationTM (blog-congregation), is demanding one thing and one thing only of me: I'm gonna have to write a book.  

Or BlookTM (blog-book) if I post it here, I guess.

This is one of those things that I like to file under the "Easier Said Than Written" file.  

Because let's face it, it's one thing to read a book,  it is another to write one.  

To read a book, you can be in bed with some Oreos and a glass of skim milk, listening to Gomer Pile in the background, and then fall asleep in the middle of it.  Surprisingly that also happens to be exactly how I would WRITE a book too - but believe me it's harder to fall asleep when you're typin'.

Needless to say, this is an crucial step in my Bleaching/Preaching career.  The last thing I wanna do is write a book no one wants to read, let alone buy.  And truth be told, I'm mostly concerned with the buyin' part.

So before I put finger to keyboard, I wanna find out what topics are most important to YOU for a book.  What subjects do you think the world is yearning to hear my peculiar take on?  What kind of BP book would you not only read but buy?  What would make you buy 100?

So here are some things I'm thinking about as far as book titles.  See what you think:

When Bad Things Happen To Good Sermons - Stories of Disastrous Sermons I've Preached.

BP and Me - The Gidget Story.

How To Preach Like A Preacher (Sermon construction using the BP method).

Why Songbooks Are Better Than Singin' Songs Off The Wall In Church.

Surviving Sermons: A Guidebook On How To Make It Through Church.

Pew Parables - Stories I Make Up That People Pretend To Understand).

How To Pray Like A Preacher (sample prayers for every occasion).

BP Is Better Than Joel Olsteen (a series of books outlining why I'm better than Joel Olsteen).

Bible Flannel Graph Fun For Kids! (self-explanatory)

You Can't Baptize THAT! (Funny Baptize Stories)

Pulpits I Have Known (Stories about pulpits I have known).

Mouthy Wives Of The Bible - A Study Guide For Ladies Bible Class.

Let's start there.

As together we stand and sing.



  1. Ah, I sympathize. I'm trying to write a novel as well (key word is "trying"--sadly, my fandom ventures get in the way and swallow up all my writing time). It's definitely not as easy as some authors make it seem.

    As for what I'd like to see... Well, I love a good friendship story (or more), so if you have them to tell (whether real life or your own parables), do include them!

    As for a title, I think the "Stories I Make Up That People Pretend To Understand" is a keeper.

  2. You definitley need a sermon on the benefits/fallacies of hermaneutics. :) And then one on why it is better/worse to have children stay in the auditorium during a sermon. Thanks, Carrie Loughman Allen

  3. BP! ... I have a spectacularly brilliant, dare I say, inspired idea for your book project!
    Hint: It involves a squirrel, super glue and the road to Damascus.
    I'll give you the rest for 20 bucks. Your friend in Him, Jim

  4. 1. Joel olsteen
    2. Gidget!

    Or, why Christian college education guarantees successful......whatever. Case studies include but not limited to pat Boone, Vince Gil, yours truly....

    The well worded invitation (combined with several verses of just as I am is jackpot)

    Favorite animals in the bible. Dude, animal books SELL. at least I buy them.

  5. These are all quite inspiring. I had no idea the need for my writing. As Rose says, it's not as easy as some make you think - but with Joel Olsteen, a squirrel, kids in church or out, and friendship - I can't miss. Well, I CAN but I haven't yet.