Monday, August 22, 2011


I walked to work today.

You want some attention?  Tell somebody you’re walkin’ to work. Or riding your bike to the store.  Or maybe jogging down to the Post Office.  Just try it once and you’ll see what I mean.  You’ll be nominated “Freak of the Week” within seconds.

Just say you’re WALKING somewhere.  Not running, not crawling, not hopping on one leg while blowin’ on a ram’s horn.  Just say you’re WALKING...anywhere.   They’ll look at you like you’re crazy.  Their face will screw up in disbelief. They’ll look hurt and guilty and a little angry all at the same time.

“You’re WALKING?” they’ll say, “To the store?! That’s a MILE away!  Why don’t you let me drive you?”

Never mind that you RUN 5 miles every morning already, or ride your bike for 45 minutes every other day, or just got back from that survival trip in the desert; just say you’re WALKING anywhere when you could DRIVE there instead and people will have you on the “Weirdo’s Of The World” list.

The thing is...I‘ve been on that list for about...40 years now.  I’m the President of that list.  I can show you where to park on that list and where to get a good sandwich.  Being on a “Weirdo List” doesn’t bother me.  Doesn’t SCARE me. 

What SCARES ME is WALKING TO WORK!  It’s true what they say, get out of your car and walk once in a while you WILL start really SEEING the world as it really is - all of it.  Whether you want to or not.

You’ll see pretty flowers and gorgeous puppies, dead grass, half-eaten, moldy apples stuck under the bus stop, and an incredible amount of cigarette butts. 

You’ll hear the birds singin’, the clicking sound of the front door of a bank unlocking, construction workers tellin’ dirty jokes as they sweep and motorcycles that REALLY need muffler work.  

You’ll smell fresh bread from the bakery, and fresh cut grass and fresh doggie dung, and you won’t know for sure which one got you sneezin’, but you WILL know which one you stepped in.

You’ll finally notice how great the leaf blower guy is when he stops to let you pass and smiles a “good morning”; as well what a jerk the guy in the red pick up is when he nearly runs you down crossing the street.

You’ll feel the hot sun on your neck, and the beginning of a dangerous sunburn on your neck.

No wonder they think you’re nuts.  You are.  And I love it.

I think I’m gonna call Gidget to pick me up.

As together we stand and sing.


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