SPEED BLEACHING

EDITOR'S NOTE: 

The following Blermon was not spell checked.  

Read at your own risk.

I’m pretty sure this is first time anyone has ever tried to do this.

Well, a regular Precher may have tried it, but Im pretty sure this is the first time a Bleacher (blog-preacher) like me has attempted to finsih a Blermon (blog-sermon) before his wife (Gidget) is ready to walk out the door to do errands (a trip I have been requested to also accompany her on).

For those of you who are NOt a Bleacher, and NOt married, and not married to Gidget - you really have no idea the challenges in this thing I’m trying t accomplish.  Things could go bad realfast.

You see, about 5 minutes ago, Gidget said she was going to “get dressed and go”.  When I asked how long that was she said, “About  5 minutes.”

Now for many wives (or husbands for that matter) - this could mean closer to 20 minutes or maybe even a half an hour.  In Gidget’s case - it means 5 minutes.  On the nose.  She can put herself together faster than any woman I know and come out lookin’ better than Sara Lee at a Cake Contest. 

BUT...once she GETS ready - there are a variety of things that can distract her from her final departure time: going through the mail, a last minute clean of the shower, some artistic or business flourish to some long forgotten project that dared to find itself on the coffee table.  She IS amazing.

So I got it in my head to see if I could write an entire Blermon (with scripture and semi-point) in the time it took her to finally be ready to walk out the door; and it is these little distractions AFTER she gets ready tat I am counting on to buy me the time I so desperatly need.

Obviously my “speed typing” is dicey, at best.  So if I don’t give mysefl enough time at the end for spell chaecking I could be in big trouble.

Also there is the danger of slapping a scripture on this Blermon that makes sence and that I cn still quote good enough so that I don’t have to waste valuable time looking it up.

So hear I am toiling away - not sure when Gidget will come and tell me she’s ready to go.  Now what’s a scripture I could use for...OH!  I got it! 

As it says in Mathew...”Behold the Master comes when no man knows the hour!”   

Shoot.  that’s not quite it.  I gotto go look this one up...hold on...

OK, that stinks...I just lost internet and cant get on line to look up my scripture.  Since I went internet I have forgotten how to look scriptures up in my concordance - THAT is a LOT of spelling work.  Lemme see if I can get a better connectin in another part of the house.  Hold on...

OK - I'm back.  Found it -  John 9:4 - (though this wasn’t really what I think I was looking for - have to MAKE it work).

In John 9:4 it says, “We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work.”

Not bad.  Pretty close.Shoot!  Needs more.  b Right back.

OK, back...

And in Matthew 24:44 it says:

“So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect.”

I think the combo sorta works.  Sums up the situatin pretty dang good!  I’m a genius.  I have know idea what I’m writting! QUICK!  She’s getting her purse...Oh no!  She just touched me on the back...we’re getting close.  Come on, Gidget, check that cell phone one more time!

BIG POINT SET UP: 

SO what are these verses telling us?  All this working before it too late stuff?  

BIG POINT: Isn’t it that way with Gidget and me...right now?  (pause) Powerful verse.  (pause) Powerful Blermon.

That's really wasn;t bad.

I have to say - aside from looking up the verse - not bad.  Maybe I should try to write anoth..OOPs - she’s ready - gotta go try and post this before she...!  SORRY, NO TIME FOR SPELL CHECK!1

As we stand together and sing.

BP