This is the ONE day a year you’re supposed to be with your family and friends, celebrating, making thankful and merry, singing Thanksgiving Day songs (OK, song) around the piano; not locked in your room reading some amazingly, earth-shattering Preacher Blermon (blog-sermon) while everybody else is downstairs busy bangin’ out the dishes.
You oughtta be ashamed of yourself.
Just as everybody was getting up from Thanksgiving Dinner, you boldly lied to your poor, unsuspecting family and said, “I’ll be right in to scrub those pans in a second, Aunt Verna. I just need to check on some email from work first. Been waiting for a VERY important...um...THINGY to come in from work. And yesterday we were traveling and my computer’s been weird since we got here. By the way, the connection is weird here. Not really sure what that’s about. Anyhow - I’ll be right in to help with those dishes in a minute or two.”
Then you locked yourself into your cousin’s old room at your Aunt’s house and are currently in the process of killing 2 hours reading this Blermon, lookin’ at dopey Youtube videos of people with turkeys on their heads while playing “Words With Friends” on your phone, instead of helping scour the roaster.
Well, I just want you to know - you aren’t fooling me. I know what you’re up to. You are simply USING this award-winning, semi-international, semi-important Blurch (blog-church) as an escape hatch from your family. I get it.
And I want you to know - I’m glad I could help. I hate doing dishes too. It’s gross. I wish there had been a Blurch like this when I was a kid. I wish there had been color TV when I was a kid. And pre-washed jeans.
I only hope that, in light of today, you can find it in your heart to be THANKFUL...for a BLEACHER (blog-preacher) such as me.
And on a day like this...you need me.
As together we stand and sing.