Monday, May 16, 2011


As those of you who follow this blog know, I recently learned that this May 21st (Saturday) is scheduled to be the official "end of the world".  

If you're like me, this has put a bit of a KINK in your plans for the week.  (Say goodbye to the seeing the finale of the Real Housewives of Orange County).  

And for me personally, it has also (surprisingly) filled me with severe wardrobe angst.  I keep asking myself:

What should I wear for the whole 
'meet the Lord in the air' thing 
this Saturday?"

Now usually I couldn't give two burps about what I wear (if I'm not in Preaching mode).  But meeting the Lord in the air is different.  It's sort of the Royal Wedding for Preachers.  And whether we like it or not, we'll all talk about what the other Preachers are wearing.  Lemme tell ya, Preachers can get catty.  

I'm talking to YOU T.D. (Jakes).  
No funny business this time.  
Or red suits without a collar.

Some would say, I'll want to wear my Sunday best.  Which is no help at all because these days "Your Sunday Best" could be anything.  

When I was growing up, nothing short of a clip-on tie and a two breasted, reversible suit  from Sears would suffice.  But in case you haven't noticed...things have changed.

These days, guys in California  PREACH on Sunday mornings in nothin' but Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts!  They look like they wanna sell me sunglasses.  Ridiculous.  But for all I know, they'll be the trend setters of Heaven. 

Heck, the Angles themselves may be wearin' overalls and sweatpants instead of wings and robes these days.  So, I'd hate to over dress and look braggy.  

On the other hand, others say I won't have to worry about what to wear at all because we are all going to be changed "in the twinkling of an eye" - but I'm not sure this includes clothes.  

What if the new "spiritual body" I'm changed into is slimmer and (hopefully) hunkier, than this piece of junk I'm haulin' around now?  I could look like a joke!

Then again, I may not have to worry about what to wear to "the rapture" anyhow because it is POSSIBLE that I'll get hit by a bus or choke on a chicken bone BEFORE this Saturday and not have to worry about it.  

For example, say I croak  this Tuesday.  That puts me in the ground by Friday, then raised from the dead on Saturday.  Then there I'll be, floatin' up to Heaven in whatever Gidget and my Mother decided to stick me in, and the nephews didn't want to have.  

That could be a train wreck. My nephews always pick my best stuff to steal and wear.

So really, my best bet (and YOURS as well) is to try my best to NOT DIE, pick out my own outfit, dress casually but tastefully, and not let on to the Angels that I think overalls and wings are a bit too "laid-back" for the celestial look.

The GOOD news is...I WON'T be wearing this hat...or this HAIR (from my Ben Franklin period)...

I hope this "Last Days Tip" has helped you as you prepare for the big day on Saturday.

By the way, skip work today.  It really doesn't matter anymore.

Smile - it's your LAST Monday!


As together we stand and sing.


P.S. - This is no better in color.

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