Well, it happened. They said it was bound to.
Naturally, my critics are giddy. The Blembers (blog-members) of this Blurch (blog-church) heartbroken.
After over 185 consecutive days of consistently inspiring, pretty much Bible based, award-winning, world-class Bleaching (blog-preaching) we have been forced to witness the bloody, heartbreaking demise of one of the most influential Blogs ever typed.
Yesterday, for the first time in over 185 days, The Semi-Daily Preacher posted...NO Blermon from Brother Preacher.
Easy. Breathe. You may wanna sit down. Its gonna be OK. I know what I’m doin’. I’m a Bleacher (blog-preacher) for cryin’ out loud.
I know many of you are devastated by this disturbing development. There have been reports of hundreds of hospitalizations from Blembers across the country, several who lost consciousness. There have been some suicide attempts, some riots, and one guy in Texas who joined the Marine Corp to “take back what America lost.”
Who’s to blame for this travesty!? What’s next?! No Christmas? No gravy for biscuits!? It must be the end of the world!!! Surely the 3rd rider of the Apocalypse has just mounted up and headed out to make all the whole milk in the world skim.
And yet...be of good cheer.
What you THINK happened is actually part of a huge, semi-global, master-minded scheme to take the Blembers of this Blurch to heights of excitement Joel Olsteen couldn’t even dream of. Joel Olsteen is lame.
Unbeknownst to even my wife Gidget, you are all a part of one of the most elaborate and exciting experiments in all of Bleaching (blog-preaching). You are right now in the middle of experiencing PART ONE of the world’s first....
DOUBLE BLERMON DAY!!!
You say, “I don’t get it? This seems stupid and lame.”
But as the voyeur once said to his trainee, “Hide and watch.”
Part 2 of this exciting adventure is coming in a matter of minutes!!
Stay tuned!
As together we stand and sing.
BP
I know it's supposed to be funny, but PLEASE do not joke about no gravy for the buscuits...
ReplyDeleteThat aside, I love the Double Blermon day! Kinda like goin to a double-header! Oh yeah, this might make ya feel better, apparently, Joel had taken to plagiarizing my facebook post. I heard him preaching about "making every day like Friday" last Sunday and I had just posted something to that effect on fb two days earlier!!!! Besides, any real preacher would have been talkin bout "making everyday like Sunday" seems to me anyway...