At least once a week, my wife Gidget informs of the fact that I have become what is called in Preaching circles as “High Maintenance”. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Maybe I’ve seen you at the meeting.
According to Gidget, I can be a little “challenging” to deal with most days. Apparently, she thinks I can be a little whinny, a bit needy, overly sensitive, selfish, moody, obsessive, and on BAD days a sore loser.
My response to these charges is always the same: So what’s you’re point, honey?
Of course, Gidget HATES it when I say that, but desperate times require stupid arguments. Plus, I have found it to be a fairly effective way to put an break into the “high maintenance” discussion long enough for me to make my escape.
But I have to say, I think there IS a valid reason for a lot of my apparently unacceptable behavior - behavior which I must say, comes so very naturally to me. I have recently begun to believe that I may very well have more than my fair share of ROYAL BLOOD coursing through my veins.
No, I didn’t find a throne out in the barn or stumbled upon some royal link in the family genealogy chart. No, nothing like that.
I have simply come to realize that I find it virtually impossible to sleep through the night if there’s a pea under my mattress.
I don’t mean a REAL pea, of course. Gidget doesn’t let me eat peas anywhere near the bed - I’m talking metaphorically. I mean I can’t sleep if there’s the slightest thing off about my pillow, the covers, my pajamas, the temperature, the amount of light there is in the room, or...if there happens to be a pea under the mattress. (Sometimes I DO eat peas in bed when Gidget’s out of town. Shhh...).
I can’t help it - I’m a KING!
Which in MY view would be GREAT for Gidget. Who doesn’t want to be married to a KING?! Who also preaches? We all have our personal dreams.
As together we stand and sing.