Big Blog, Big Head

Good morning, Blurch!

You know I get the feeling sometimes that many of you think I do not read the hundreds and hundreds of comments and emails and Facebook responses I receive everyday regarding this  blog.  The truth is, not only do I read them but many of my favorite comments I have already begun to crochet onto a big, round pillow.

It's true, it IS a daily burden to sift through all of the praise and fanfare coming in on such a huge scale.  Of course there is the danger it could all start to go to my head.  I'm only human.  I can get the "Big Head" as easy as anybody else.  If given too much praise, I begin to foresee my future as a beloved, handsome, possibly Korean leader of a huge, semi-global, semi-blurch.  What Bleacher with my supreme talent wouldn't?

As you know,  I have a pretty big head already.  I mean my actual head is fairly sizable.  So I've got to be careful.

The good news is, while it takes  a lot of time to read the good comments,  the bad comments I can sail right through in practically no time at all.  I have a natural filter for comments that have the potential for hurting my feelings or are secretly asking for money.

But the main reason I read every one of the thousands and thousands of your comments and emails each day is so that I can potentially steal ideas for my next blog entry.  Let's face it, the stress of maintaining a semi-daily blog is at times semi-overwhelming.  SOMETIMES you need help. 

So today I want to introduce a guest Bleacher, RC, who's amazing comment from yesterday in my opinion, deserves it's own posting.  And so please welcome, RC (not the cola), who yesterday said this:

"Notice the soaring number of followers! 3 (that trinitarian favorite) times 7 (that perfect number and the day God rested) equals 21 the total number of followers. Try some addition: 2+1 and get 3 (back to trinity). Lets try division: divide 21 by 21 and you get: 1 (perfect unity in all this diversity). Lets try subtraction: 2-1=1 (unity again)! This is amazing stuff. 21 followers is surely a divine sign of things to come"

I have no idea what all this means.  Math and crafts - not my thing.  But I am always moved by things that confuse me, and this comment is no exception.  Thanks RC for those powerful, confusing, mathy words.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

Ask A Preacher

I was recently contacted by a Super Fan of mine who had the courage to ask me this very personal yet vitally important query:

"Brother Preacher, how DO you do it?  

How do you keep such a tight preaching schedule, 

maintain your slim, athletic physique, 

AND pull off a soon-to-be-award-winning-semi-daily-blog-a-sermon 

on a semi-daily basis?!"

It was a great question.  The likes of which, I wish more of YOU would ask me once in a while, instead of the usual load of mediocrity I am forced to sift through every morning.  Let's face it, I get a little weary of answering the same 'ole questions every day.  Who wouldn't?  Most of you ask me stuff like:

"What's with your hair, Preacher?"

"Preacher, don't you owe me some money?"

"You call THAT a sermon?"

It gets old.  But at this point in my blogging career, I guess I gotta take what I can get as far as fans and followers and commenters go.  So, boo-hoo for me.  Lift up thine eyes to the future!  We press on!!  Anyhow...

I understand the questioners confusion.  How DO I do it all?  I know many of you have been wondering the same thing.   A cursory look at the blog entries in my archive will demonstrate that I am able to do more in a 24 hour day  than most preachers do in a 12 day tent revival.  And that's not even counting acing my crossword puzzle obsession every day.

What I am able to accomplish in one day is, in a word: too much to handle.  And mind-boggling.  And amazing.  I almost seem, dare I say it...super human.  Easily above average.  I'm a C+ without even TRYIN'!

I have to admit though, I DON'T  do it all alone. I do have SOME help.  Not so much from on High, but from YOU, the  fans.  I mean members.

Every day since beginning this blog I have received a constant stream of helpful hints and suggestions for blog topics.  Some of which include:

"What's with all the trash on the roads?"

"Why isn't the Final Four called the Final Three to reflect the Trinity?"

"How the heck did Cain and Able have kids without any other girls on the planet?"

"How do you spell Ecclisieastes?  Eccliciates?  Eclisiateees?"

"Was that your picture I saw in the Post Office?"

"Why haven't you answered my question yet?"

As you can see, with all this help from my fans and botherers of this blog I am set for topics to preach on (or should I say "Bl-each on") from now til the COWS come home and THEY start reading my blog.  And cows RARELY read blogs...if EVER.  I don't think cows CAN read.  So that is a long, long time.

So what makes for a "good" question to submit to this blog?

Well first of all, I'd like to point out, THAT question WAS an excellent example of an excellent question.  Make your questions more like "What makes a good question?" and you're already on the right track!  

But to be more specific, what makes a good question for this blog falls into three simple categories:

1.) ASK ALL YOUR QUESTIONS IN ENGLISH.

Why?  Because it's the only language I can really count on knowing at any given time.  

Some of my fans from other countries think they're cute writing me questions in French and German and Spanish.  Which is fine if that's what you wanna do.  I'll just say right now, it's gonna be a while before you see any ANSWER from ME.  That Rosetta Stone thingy is a great program but it is DANG expensive for a Preacher. 

Of course I do read and write ancient Greek to help in my preaching, but as many of you know, I often panic, and make a lot of that up as I go.

2.) ASK A QUESTION YOU'RE PRETTY SURE I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO.

This is such an important point.  It is so much easier for me to Bl-each on topics I know SOMETHING about.  Stuff like: the Bible, God, Gilligan's Island, Sega Genesis, Genesis...that kind of thing.  

Stuff I know NOTHING about include: Math and crafts.  Try to steer clear of them.  Finally...

3.) ASK A QUESTION WITH A "?" AT THE END SO I KNOW IT'S A QUESTION.

Some of you end your questions with a period or worse yet nothing at all.  It is a barbaric, unpunctuated time in which we live!  One guy ended a question to me with one of these:

(*)

Needless to say, I answered him with this:

M{<>}

Which shut him up.  You can't be a Preacher and let people push you around.

So thanks again to all of you for your continued help in bringing you the best in Blog Preaching!  

And remember, if you ever notice this blog starting to lose the quality you've come to expect...you can only blame YOURSELF for all the crappy questions you're submitting.

As together we stand and sing.

BP

The Ground Floor and the Final Four

You know, in the three exciting, media-soaked, Johnny Appleseed-like days since I've had this blog, one question keeps going over and over in my mind: what the heck am I gonna write about next?

It's an important question.  Especially since I'm the only one writing this semi-daily, semi-important, semi-earth-shaking-blog-to-the-stars-type-a-rama. (Shoulda held off on a couple of those last few dashes.  Sorry, I get carried away.  Back to the blog.).

But between you and me, I really couldn't care LESS about the question. The QUESTION doesn't interest me in the SLIGHTEST!   What I'M interested in is the ANSWER.  And HAVING that answer relatively soon.  Like, sometime before I finish this posting would be nice. 

Why?  Because I'm hungry, OK?   Make sense?   Look, I made a mistake.  I thought I'd do a little blogging before breakfast.  I was wrong!  So sue me.  Look, now I know: pre-breakfast blogging is bad. 

Which reminds me of the words of...somebody...probably me:

"We live, we blog, we learn.

A pig, a dog, a fern.

In Heaven nothing burns

We Live, we blog, we learn."

Powerful words.  Powerful potential song.

And so in this time of trouble, I turn to what many of my  high-tech, modern-day "Blogger Brethren and Sistern" turn to in similar times of crisis...I turn to YOU, the Blogees of this blog, for blogging ideas.

What a wonderful, democratic, Christ-centered way to find topics.  Amen?  I have to admit, it beats coming up with something on my own every time.

And it should be pretty easy pickin's for me.  For as you can clearly see, the poplularity of this blog is already exploding!!  It's like two kid's sparklers on the 4th of July out there. 

In just 3 short days, I ALREADY have had over 100 views of this blog!   Can you believe that? 

I also have over FOUR faithful followers.  Count 'em!  OVER FOUR!   Now count 'em again.  Go ahead.  We've got time. 

I hope you 5 followers enjoy being on the ground floor of an international phenomenon...because that's where you are.  Strap in.

Of course, about 27 of those views were me, checkin' to see if this thing had actually launched or not.   Then I also had to go back on there to figure out how to load pictures, and Adsense (whatever the heck THAT is), and the counter thingy deal - whatever else.  It was a real mess.  Let's put it this way...I have DESTROYED my week-end!  OK?  But I have UPed my view count!  So we're even.

Now that I think of it, with all that messin' around on there, I'm probably really more like 78 of the 100 views.  Which isn't bad really, considering the fact that I have over 700 views of the 1000 views of my own videos on Youtube.  

What can I say?  I can't take my EYES off me! 

Anyhow...and so this morning, I turned to you, the Blogees of this blog for an idea of what to blog about next. 

And it was there in the comment section I noticed a controversy arising so loud and clear, so big and bold, so obviously important and crises-y that I knew I had no choice but to blog about it immediately:

WILL KENTUCKY WIN THE FINAL FOUR!?

Such an important question.  

Such an important answer.  

Surprisingly it is a topic that I have written several books on.  One while I was in seminary.  They laughed at me back then, "What in the world does Kentucky winning The Final Four have to do with the Bible, Preacher?"  

Well, guess what?  Who's laughing now?  I'll say it again.  Who..is laughing...now?

I'd laugh if I could but I am STARVING and don't have the strenght for it.  

So tune in tomorrow for the conclusion...and the beginning...of this very important Final Four thing!

As together we stand and sing.