Tuesday, April 26, 2011


This is a test of the Emergency Preaching System. This is ONLY a test.  





We have a just couple of announcements before we get started...

Turn in your Bibles if you would to...

A story is told of a little dog named Dippity Doo Doo...

In Closing...

Thus concludes our test of the Emergency Preaching System.  

Had this been an ACTUAL preaching emergency you would have been instructed as what to do to be saved as well as what to bring to the Pot Luck. 

Remember: Preaching is not for just anybody.  A pulpit in the wrong hands can be dangerous to you as well as to those around you.  

Before you preach, eat a peach.

Never attempt to preach unless there is someone else in the room listening to you.  If you are preaching only to yourself - take the hint and start selling insurance instead.

Before submitting anybody to a sermon make sure you have REALLY heard "the call" from ON HIGH, and not a radio that's been left on in the next room.  

If your preacher is preaching from a Dr. Suess book instead of a Bible contact this blog immediately.

If you or someone you love is in need of emergency preaching contact this blog immediately and ask for Bible-based, pretty good preaching in a hurry.  

PS - I'm the only Preacher I know of who has a flashing preaching light on my car.  I also make a pretty good siren noise by holdin' my nose and rollin' my tongue.  What can I say?  I'm good. 

As together we stand and sing.


1 comment:

  1. Oh how I wish there were a BP emergency kit beneath every pew: a bobble head of our hero, an illustrated book of his greatest object sermons (we've still not heard any wise theory on the power of a good object lesson), and a tiny piece of matzoh and a drop of grape juice. Such a kit could get us through any emergency.Talk to the elders (better yet talk to the church secretary, she is the one who gets things done).