Monday, June 6, 2011


I think it goes without saying that the wedding I recently participated in nearly took me out.  

I'm not as young as I used to be, and all those kids and the music, to say nothing of those little wedding mints, can really do a number on a guy like me.  I tire quicker than a turtle on treadmill,  and I am easily confused by pretty much anything that happened after 1989.

But that is simply what is called: Preaching.  So boo hoo.  Toughen up.  If you can't stand the sermon get out of the pulpit.

Over the years, Preachers have been thrown into lion's dens, buried in sand up to their necks, tied to bungee cords and used like a tether ball, been made to head up pot luck dinners for baby showers, exposed to freezing cold baptismal lake water in Colorado, made to play Moses in Vacation Bible School, and worst of all, made to oversee a bunch of teens as they devour pizza's...right in front of them.

This last offense can be particularly cruel for a Preacher to endure.  For anyone over the age of 35, it's just amazingly hard to watch.  I must remember to notify the Geneva Convention about this.  And probably SAG.

Still...we Preach on.  Or in this case, BLEACHTM (blog-preach) on.  


Because we're Preachers...and have no idea of how to fix computers or do brain surgery, or change the oil in cars at Jiffy Lube.  We MUST Preach or we don't eat.

One of the ways I "Keep On Keeping On" is by keeping my mind focused on upcoming opportunities to Preach.  I can get through almost anything if I know I've got a gig coming up.  And today is no exception.  

After surviving this weekend's wedding, I loaded Gidget and some extra mints in our MPTTM (Mobile Preaching Transport - AKA my Subaru) and was immediately notified on my cell phone that I was needed to preach in Malibu next week.

I guess they needed the best.  They found it.  ME. 

So Gidget and I are now winging our way to California (and by winging I mean driving the Subaru) to "Get My Preach On" out there.  

I'm excited.  I love Preaching at people I'm pretty sure are already doing a fair amount of sinning. Which is why preaching in California is like shooting water in a barrel of water. You CAN'T miss.

I'm gonna tear it up.  

So, if you are anywhere within a 1000 miles of Malibu on June 16th I will expect to see you there for this big LIVE Preach-fest.  I need your help.  After all it IS California...things could get a little rough out there what with all the Hippies and Sit-com stars and whales.  Whales have been known to swallow Preachers whole - just ask Jonah.  

I think I'll probably start with preaching against bikinis.  I believe they are the tip of a very big, unholy ice burg. Could be a whole series by itself.

It's on.  I'm gone.  See you there.

As together we stand and sing.


1 comment:

  1. ok, i would copy and paste all the lines that made me laugh but it would take too long. Come to think of it, I've had a total of 7 hours sleep in the past 48 hours AND I popped some Ambien 20 minutes ago. Heck, my green bedspread here in the 'arts and crafts dorm' is making me laugh. Hmmmm, not sure it was your bleaching blog after all. I don't know, shooting water in a barrel of water - that's pretty funny...