JUST FOR FUN

Here’s something fun you can try at home.

STEP 1: Get yourself Blurch (blog- church) and begin Bleaching (blog-preaching) on it.  Do that for about 4 months or so, every day, without fail.

STEP 2: Once the ideas of what to Bleach about start to go a little dry, do some traveling, talk to some people, spend some time reading some newspapers and books.  Really work hard at getting something fresh to say to your Blongregation (blog-congregation).

STEP 3: Get yourself set up and ready to Bleach: adjust your computer just the way you like it, have some coffee handy, get some jazz goin’ in the background, sit in a comfy chair.

STEP 4: Begin typing.

STEP 5: Four seconds after you begin typing, have 14 guys from the Department Of Waterworks set up camp 2 feet outside your window and begin conducting the Opening Ceremonies for the Jackhammer Olympics.

STEP 6: Have this competition continue for the next 7 hours.  Be sure to include the ever-present BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP sound of 3 trucks constantly backing up, the riotous laughter of workers, and of course the sweet sound of competitive, dueling jackhammers.

STEP 7: Begin typing IN ALL CAPS SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE YOUR BRAIN!!!!!!  KEEP THIS GOING UNTIL YOU’RE PRETTY SURE THERE ARE ELVES LIVING UNDER YOUR COUCH WHO ARE TRYING TO GET YOU TO PLAY MONOPOLY WITH THEM!!!!  WHAT?!?!  I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!  WHAT??!!  I SAID I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!!  WHAT???!!!!

STEP 8: Stop typing and walk to a nearby window.  Make sure that the window is in the CLOSED position.

STEP 9: Take a deep breath and then place your head completely THROUGH the closed window.  Do this a number of times, until you start to feel faint.

STEP 10: Wrap your head in a towel and then drive yourself to the Emergency Room.

STEP 11: Receive medical attention for the massive, self-inflicted lacerations to your head. 

STEP 12: While in the recovery room, drink some grape juice and eat a couple of Fig Newtons.  Then try to take a short nap.  Why not?  You’re paying for it.

STEP 13: Return home late that night and finish typing your Blermon (blog-sermon) sans the Jackhammer Olympics.   

CAUTION: at this point you may no longer remember what it was you were trying to type in the first place.  You may also not have the use of your right hand.

Mix well.

Let stand for 20 minutes.

Post online.

Serves 34.

As together we stand and sing.

BP